To swallow or not to swallow: the secrets behind oral sex

  Darolyn Striley Striley is a third-year
women’s studies student who likes to sleep on the right side of the
bed. E-mail comments, titillating tips and delightful disparages to
[email protected].

Have you ever been suspicious about the slurping going on behind
you in the movie theater? Did you ever swear you saw a bobbing head
in the car next to you? Yup, you guessed it! They were all getting
a little down time. In this pursuit of down time it is important to
know what you’re doing.

We are joining two very unlikely highly sensitive areas. One is
a cavity full of hard sharp objects used for, among other things,
chopping and devouring food. This cavity, known as the mouth, is
also extremely sensitive to taste. Tastes can easily change our
mood ““ and we surely don’t want mood changes. The other
is extremely sensitive to touch. So we have two things that can
easily wreck havoc on each other. Yet they’re so damn good
together, almost like peanut butter and jelly.

So how do you make them work well enough so you don’t end
up in the emergency room from an accidental dental slip or in the
bathroom vomiting from a repulsive taste or smell? First and
foremost is cleanliness, for pete’s sake people, be
C-L-E-A-N.

There’s nothing worse than tasting urine, sweat and other
things we secrete. I know it’s hard to be completely clean,
especially if you practice spontaneity (which I’m a big fan
of), but if your gonna see your other half you know there’s
potential.

And there’s no excuse if you’re getting ready to
spend the night together because you know anything might happen.
Plus, you want the experience to be a good one, so they can do it
over and over again.

You might also want to learn what to do with the penis or vagina
when your faced with them, no pun intended. Of course, everyone is
different and you’re going to want to customize your
technique to your partners’ preference. But here’s a
few tips to get you started.

With women it’s all about the clitoris (if you don’t
know where this is try a health book or a regular internet search
will produce a diagram), but don’t get so engulfed in it that
you forget the rest of the vagina, or for that matter the woman.
The clitoris likes to be stimulated, but be careful because
it’s super sensitive and you can easily hurt it and turn the
woman off.

Because it’s made of erectile tissue, it sticks out of the
clitorial hood, and stimulation can occur by tongue (licking),
fingers (rubbing) or lips (nibbling). Alternating from the clitoris
to the surrounding areas is also a good idea. You can also insert
your tongue in and out of her vagina or hum while your nibbling,
some women find it pleasurable while in others it just tickles.
Spend the bulk of your time at the clitoris, but do not forget the
whole package.

Pay attention to her breathing and how tense her body becomes.
Touch her legs, stomach, breasts and buttocks while, before or
after for extra stimulation. Tongue cramps are not fun, so foreplay
comes in very handy so she’ll be hot and heavy before you
even start. Try to tease too, during foreplay don’t touch her
vagina, caress or kiss her inner thigh, so when you do perform oral
sex, the anticipation alone might give her an orgasm.

As for men, the head of the penis is the most sensitive. Pretend
your licking a lollipop or an ice cream cone: use your mouth in the
same fashion. Then go down on the penis and surround the shaft with
your lips. Go up and down, it’s probably best to do this a
couple of times and then use your hand, so as you put his penis in
and out of your mouth your also stroking him with your hands.

There are several ways you can use your hands while your using
your mouth. Fingers and the palm of the hand are placed at
different places at different times to give pleasure. Be sure to be
hydrated so you have enough saliva to make fellatio pleasurable.
Guys usually like it sloppy. Occasionally look up at him to make
eye contact. You can also caress his testicles whenever you have
the extra hand or place his testicles in your mouth while stroking
him. Some guys like to have a bit of anal stimulation, but do not
do this unless you’re sure of his response.

Now, if his unit is too big and you’re determined to
insert his entire penis in your mouth, you will have problems with
the gag reflex. You can overcome this by purchasing creams from
your local sex shop; these cremes numb your gag reflex allowing you
to swallow anything you like. The grand finale is your call, to
swallow or not to swallow. Some guys also like to cum on different
parts of the body, like the buttocks, the chest, the stomach or the
face. Letting someone cum in your mouth can be dangerous because it
is very simple for sores in your mouth and cuts on your gums to
absorb infected sperm.

Try not to brush or floss right before oral sex as you can cause
small cuts that you’re not even aware of, if you want minty
fresh breath use a mouthwash.

As always keep in mind sexually transmitted diseases that can be
contracted through oral sex such as herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea
and syphilis. The best way of prevention is a condom when
performing on a male or a dental dam when performing on a female.
Condoms with no lubrication work the best, as they will have no
taste or smell.

By the way, everyone should also learn how to put on a condom
with only their mouth; it’s a neat trick that will impress
many a man. As for females, if you don’t happen to have a
dental dam you can easily make one out of a condom.

You cut the tip of the condom off and slice the condom up, so as
to have a small square sheet of latex. You then spread it over the
woman’s vagina to prevent exchange of bodily fluids. Dental
dams are not usually lubricated, but you can add a water-based
lubricant to help it stay in place and increase arousal.

What’s also important in oral sex is your level of
eagerness. It might not be your favorite activity but acting like
it is increases the pleasure. After your partner has cummed,
don’t run into the bathroom like you just ingested poison.
Linger. Come up by licking, a one slow continuous lick from the
thigh, through the chest towards the neck ending with a peck (or a
serious smooch depending on the mood) on the cheek or mouth.

Be loving. Ask something like, “Having fun?” and
then go rinse your mouth. No one wants to feel repulsive or as if
they forced some sexual act on you. Cunnilingus and fellatio are
very private and intimate performances. They also represent power
shifts and this is why some people have a real problem performing
oral sex.

But remember sex, any kind of sex, is supposed to be fun and
exhilarating like a warm and juicy roller coaster. So if you know
oral sex is going to make your partner howl and throw their arms up
into the air then take one for the team and dive in. Who knows
maybe they’ll return the favor and take you for a ride.