Witty, frightening novels provide indoor enjoyment

By Michael Rosen-Molina
Daily Bruin Senior Staff It’s Halloween, the cold wind is
whistling in the bare treetops, and the bones of the dead rattle
restlessly in their graves. It’s a night of fun and fright
and books. Well, what better night to curl up with a good book in
the safety and comfort of your own home than when the forces of
darkness are at their strongest? While the foolish might wander the
streets in search of thrills and candy, the wise man knows better
than to antagonize the unnameable horrors that lurk in the night.
Instead, he stays inside, pouring over books of ancient wisdom so
that he might learn how to better protect himself from ghosts and
ghouls and long-legged beasties.

“All the Pretty Maids in a Row”

Well-known for combining pop culture kitsch and unnatural
horror, the latest addition to the Buffy mythos does not
disappoint. Christopher Golden’s new book “All the
Pretty Maids in a Row” has nothing to do with Buffy.
It’s all about Buffy’s perennial archnemesis Spike and
his unbalanced love Drusilla. It’s Dru’s birthday
““ or rather deathday, seeing as how vampires celebrate the
anniversary of their resurrection from the grave. Spike is out to
get her the perfect gift, a necklace known as the Freyja’s
Strand. The deceptively simple metal chain is actually an extremely
powerful magic charm that gives its wearer the power to change
shape at will. So Spike strikes a bargain with a demon named
Skrymir: if Skrymir gets Spike the necklace, Spike will get Skrymir
the list of all the vampire slayers-in-training. Set against the
backdrop of World War II Europe, the playful irreverence that
distinguishes the series is tempered by the desolation of the
setting. Although a war never makes for cheerful reading, the easy
banter between stone-cold Spike and his frivolously insane
fiancée keeps the story moving quickly.

“Dark Sleeper”

Jeffrey Barlough’s “Dark Sleeper” follows the
esteemed professor of metaphysics, Titus Tiggs, as he travels to
the mist-covered city of Salthead. Together with his colleague, the
oddly named Dr. Daniel Dampe, Tiggs struggles to unravel the
supernatural mysteries that plague this quaint, gothic burg. A
spectral sailor dances down the docks every night. A ghostly
shipwreck rises from its watery grave to sail into harbor. The
spirit of a young boy frequents the local tavern, and a vicious
goblin dog terrorizes the town streets. All of these ghostly high
jinks pale in comparison to the Dark Sleeper, an unnamed evil so
powerful that it threatens to destroy the entire town and every
person who lives there. The delightfully creepy ambience of
Salthead will quickly draw the reader into the story. Salthead
exists in some nebulous alternative universe, both quaintly
Victorian and disturbingly Lovecraftian. Odd touches inform the
reader that it isn’t on Earth. Readers might be able to
accept the multitude of supernatural visitors that grace the pages
of “Dark Sleeper,” but when the most popular beast of
burden is an extinct species of mastodon … well, that’s
just getting a little weird.

“Carpe Jugulum”

Terry Pratchett takes a stroll down the dark side of his comic
fantasy universe of Discworld, introducing readers to a full cast
of witches and vampires in “Carpe Jugulum.” The king of
the tiny mountain nation of Lancre is getting married, and, being
an enlightened sort, invites all his neighbors to the festivities.
Unfortunately, he also includes the antisocial vampires of the
distinctly Transylvanian-country of Ueberwald. Lancre, however, is
a nice little place, the sort of cozy little town where one could
easily settle down and retire. And so the vampires do, much to the
chagrin of the local population. The only person who can expel
these undead party-crashers is Granny Weatherwax, the crotchety,
no-nonsense head of the local witches’ coven. Together with
her cohorts ““ the earthy vulgarian Nanny Ogg and the flaky
new age trendsetter Magrit Garlick ““ Granny Weatherwax sets
out to cleanse the kingdom. Things aren’t as easy as one
would assume, however; these are modern vampires, impervious to
garlic and eager to get a good tan in the supposedly lethal
sunlight. Pratchett brings his usual comic genius to bear on the
more somber subject matter, but that’s not to say that the
story doesn’t have its share of unsettling moments: the eerie
descriptions of Ueberwald alone make the book worthwhile.