Running scared won’t get you Krispy Kremes or out of traffic

Jeff and the Fresh Prints   Send comments,
‘SC Jokes and questions for Ricky Manning for the next installment
of the “˜Fresh Prints’ to [email protected].

I’ve decided to lead with the UCLA football team because
they haven’t had an early lead all season. Each Bruin
opponent has scored a touchdown when UCLA still has a donut on the
scoreboard. And when UCLA has that donut, fans don’t. Krispy
Kreme has a promotion to give a free doughnut to students if the
Bruins score first at the Rose Bowl, which hasn’t happened
all season, let alone at home. Freddie Mitchell was unaware of the
promotion until two days ago, but now has that extra incentive.
“I’ll do my best to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts for
everybody. I’m a big Krispy Kreme fan,” he said. So if
Freddie scores first on Saturday, be nice and give him a bite of
your sticky, glazed goodness. . . . Speaking of doughnuts, why is
UCLA always getting into such a big hole? Why did a team that beat
Alabama and Michigan struggle so much against lowly Cal? True, they
have two All-American candidates sidelined, but UCLA should still
beat Cal every time they play. And they should beat them the next
time and the time after that. One of the main reasons UCLA lost was
its conservative play calling. Jermaine Lewis is a solid tailback
and Akil Harris is an emerging star, but if the run is not working,
the run is not working. The Bruins ran for just 45 yards on 45
carries. Even Cal’s fans rushed on the field more
efficiently. UCLA’s offensive line was continually getting
beat by Cal’s front seven, but the Bruins stubbornly kept
trying to run. When I’m stuck in traffic on the 405, I take a
different route and use the Sepulveda Pass. UCLA was stuck in
traffic up the middle, so they should have used the Cory Paus Pass.
Throw on first down, and if that doesn’t work, throw on
second down. If that doesn’t work, throw on third down. UCLA
has the receivers to make big plays, but the playbook isn’t
opened wide enough. Coach Bob Toledo said he was trying to protect
Paus, but when you play scared, you lose. . . . UCLA dropped to No.
23 in the AP Poll. Meanwhile, the Trojans lost their third straight
game and have as many votes in the poll as Santa Monica City
College. . . . In fact, the only way Paul Hackett is going to be
associated with the poll is when someone mispronounces his first
name. Hackett’s Trojans could have beaten Oregon on Saturday,
but in the fourth quarter, he had USC kick an extra point to cut
its deficit to 21-17, instead of going for two to get within a
field goal. About six minutes later, Hackett had the Trojans punt
on fourth and two at midfield, and the Ducks ate up almost all the
rest of the clock to secure the win. This from a coach who the USC
media guide calls “innovative” and “one of the
game’s most progressive offensive coaches.” I do agree
he’s innovative, finding new ways to lose each week. . . .
Back to Freddie Mitchell ““ last week I asked you to send me
questions for the leading receiver in the nation. Here are some of
your queries and his responses.

Are there any receivers better than you? “No, with or
without stats. Stats don’t mean anything. I’m the best
receiver on the field.”

What do you put in your hair? “Soul-Glo.”

Do you have any superstitions on gameday? “If I
don’t read the Bible before each game, I feel bad.”

Why aren’t you returning punts or kicks this year?
“I wanted to focus on receiving and be a great receiver.
Spending time with punts and kickoffs hindered my ability to be the
best.”

Did you score with Elizabeth Hurley? “We are just
friends!” … Please send me any and all questions for
sophomore corner Ricky Manning, and I will print them next week.
Send them, along with any other comments, to [email protected]. …
To the NFL, where UCLA and USC quarterbacks didn’t fare very
well this week. Cade McNown’s Bears lost again to fall to
1-6, Troy Aikman threw five interceptions as the Cowboys went down,
Rob Johnson separated his shoulder in the Bills’ near-loss to
the Chargers, and Todd Marinovich’s dealer was out of town. I
wonder what would happen if the Chargers played the Bengals? … A
court recently awarded Heather Sue Mercer two million dollars in a
sex discrimination suit because Duke University did not allow her
to kick for their football team. I guess no one cared that she
wasn’t good at kicking footballs. She didn’t have the
ability to play college football, but she did manage to play the
system and our overly-PC world to become a millionaire. In Orange
County, a 15-year-old boy named Quan Vu wants to play field hockey
for a girls’ team, but rules say he can’t. Vu is just
5-foot-5 and 125 pounds, and field hockey has minimal contact
anyway. So why can girls play on boys’ teams, but boys
can’t play on girls’ teams? Where’s Vu’s
money? After hours of research, I have a grand idea to solve
everything. Let women play with women, and men play with men. I
know it’s complicated, but it might actually work. . . .
‘SC Joke of the Week: What do UCLA students and USC students
have in common? They both got into USC.