Party Politics

Monday, December 7, 1998

Party Politics

COLUMN: Viewpoint columnists speak out on reasons for voicing
opinions

in writing

When I applied to be a Viewpoint columnist, I wrote that I
thought of the Viewpoint section as a room in which all of the
writers are having a conversation. The conversation is open to
everyone on campus; anyone can submit to Viewpoint.

But then there are the Viewpoint columnists; the 12 people who
have promised to write a column every two weeks; five columns a
quarter. And today, nine of us (myself included) will speak to you
about what it’s like to contribute regularly to the
conversation.

Lately, being such a regular participant has been a little too
much for me. It’s hard to keep thinking of new and different ways
to participate. I always hope that I’ll think of something
hilarious to say, that will leave the whole room laughing. Or if I
could say something deep, that would be good, too.

But lately, I’ve been obsessed with saying something that
everybody on campus will listen to. I know a lot of people just
peek into the Viewpoint room, see us talking and then leave to go
check out Sports or something. I want those people to stop when
they see that I’m speaking. I want my name to be on everybody’s
lips: "Mark Dittmer’s speaking today!" I want to be the best
speaker in the room.

But now, I feel like I’ve got nothing left to say, and so I’m
going to invite the rest of the columnists into the room. It was
super nice of them to come speak today, so please, give them your
undivided attention. They’ll be speaking in reverse-alphabetical
order.

Julianne Sohn couldn’t make it.

Lisa Silver

"Writing for me is extremely inspirational. Whenever I
experience something worthy of my sarcasm (which is almost every
minute), I’ll run to my trusty pad and write it down. I try to give
my readers constructive, provocative thought that lasts beyond when
they finish my article. I use my column as a forum for the
injustices that go on in life and at this school (I wish I could
focus on positives too, but UCLA just doesn’t give me much to go
on).

"Surprisingly, readers have been really receptive to my
sarcastic and cynical style. I’m thrilled to get responses, in part
because it lets me know I’m doing a good job, and in part because
there is no greater gift to a serious opinion writer than when
someone says, ‘Even though I may not agree with you, you made me
question my position.’"

Alicia Roca

"The writer’s dichotomy is this: words are an empowering venue
that lift you to the highest pinnacle and then leave you there
stark naked. Nowhere is this fact more explicit than in the realm
of column-writing. Your opinions are exposed to the world alongside
with your picture and name forever emblazoned in bold print. Any
chance of anonymity is forever lost and you are held up for public
examination. Writing has always been a private activity in my life,
one that was almost semi-therapeutic. Now, I’m sharing my therapy
with 50,000 people.

"But writing is my passion, and if I evoked passion in two of
the 50,000 people who read, my goal was met.

"Thanks to all those who helped clothe me."

Stephanie Pfeffer

"I certainly don’t want people to think that Mark is the best
speaker in the room, when obviously, I am. So I’ll shout loud and
clear, ‘People – are you listening? Do you care what we say? Do you
know that we, as columnists, spend hours getting carpal tunnel
syndrome and going blind as we write columns for your damn
enjoyment?’

"I hope you don’t think that, because it’s simply not true. We
do not write columns for you, the reader, but for ourselves, our
own egos and resumes and halfway-cathartic expression. I say
halfway because we can never fully reveal ourselves, though we love
to claim that we do. Maybe we’re all a bunch of hypocrites. We say
that we like being columnists ‘to provoke thought’ and ‘create a
forum for discussion’ but who’s kidding who? There’s more to it
than these innocent phrases of idealism."

Adam Komisaruk

"It was to simulate (and stimulate) a kind of conversation that
I decided to organize my own column in a ‘frequently asked
questions’ format. The idea wasn’t to set up straw men that I’d
proceed to knock down, but to try to answer the most common
objections that my species of politics invites.

"It’s a cliche that if you’ve changed the mind of just one
person, you’ve done your job; but I hope I’ve done more than preach
to the converted. At the least, I’ve tried to open students’ eyes
to issues that they may not have heard of, are relevant to them as
students, but also reach beyond university life itself; hence the
title ‘Global Campus.’

"One of the great present-day myths is that potential voters,
especially students, are politically apathetic. More likely, they
don’t believe that the government or the media takes them
seriously. Conspiracy theorist that I am, I’m inclined to
agree."

Alex Ko

"Greetings fellow humanoids. Unlike the other columnists, my
writing has but one purpose – the communication of the great
teachings of the 19th dimensional diva Zugg-Zugg Fred the
Praiseworthy Galactic Lingam (ZZFPGL). My mission is the
translation of ZZFPGL’s magnificent, multidimensional, message into
the linear, two-dimensional format of the written word.

"In my writings, the pattern of the text itself is important as
opposed to the meaningful, literal content. As prescribed by
ZZFPGL, I have arranged the words on the two dimensional page to
interface with our primate visual cortex in an astounding way.
While all of you were reading my articles, the pattern of the words
were interacting with your brains to cause mutation. A mutation
that is bringing you closer to ZZFPGL. All praise ZZFPGL!"

Daniel Inlender couldn’t make it.

Spencer Hill

"I guess the question is: Why do I write?

"Well, I think that good writing has no shelf life – comedy is
the same way. People need it. For example, with the knowledge that
Michael J. Fox has contracted Parkinson’s disease surfaces, I think
that you’re faced with interesting irony. A sitcom icon diagnosed
with a severe illness: tragedy and comedy meet, I suppose. Still
amongst the struggle he has days where he needs someone just to
make him laugh. Now, I’m not saying that I can cure cancer with my
columns or even hypnotize you into thinking that I’m a comedic
genius, but I do think that I can make you smile or even chuckle
every once in a while. That’s it. Just a smile here and there. I
suppose that there’s nothing better.

"With me and my writing, it’s just you and I sitting and
talking. Just a good conversation, a funny story and a couple
laughs.

Matthew Gever

"Hi! Me llamo Matt Gever y yo soy un Viewpoint columnist. I can
scarcely remember why I applied to be a columnist. I do remember
that it had something to do with my reaction to all the crap that
was printed in Pravda (aka the Daily Bruin) in quarters past. I
grew weary of reading the same leftist b.s. printed week after
week. My goal as a columnist was to challenge the ideas of the
left, among others. If anything was learned from my columns (and I
doubt anything was), I hope that it was that no idea should ever be
accepted as axiom without any inquiry into the subject. Instead of
just vituperating those who do not accept traditional standards,
try and learn more about the opposition. Who knows, it might make
more sense than what you believe now."

Patrick Friel

"I am not too excited by the prospect of people thinking, ‘What
does Patrick have to say?’ After all, I try not to say anything too
important. Why should I try to say something important when I have
length limitations and overeager editors to worry me?

"So why do I bother writing? It does give me something to do,
and it is mildly impressive (to those impressed by that sort of
thing). Also, it is possible to serve a purpose without getting too
serious. People rarely turn to The Bruin for serious news or deep
opinions, but they do turn to the paper for chunks of information
and dabs of amusement (and, of course, coupons). I would like to
think that I can still serve some purpose (although I might serve a
better purpose if my columns included coupons)."

Catie Snow Bailard couldn’t make it.

Mark Dittmer

Thank you, speakers, for speaking! Thank you listeners, for
listening! Thank you all for conversing! It’s been a pleasure.

Mark DittmerDittmer is a fourth-year geography, environmental
studies and economics student. Send feedback to [email protected].
That’s "dmittmer" not "mdittmer."

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