Welcome to the world of Daily Bruin Sports

Monday, September 28, 1998

Welcome to the world of Daily Bruin Sports

COLUMN: In-depth look at the wondrous tasks

of hardworking staffers

I would liken my job as Daily Bruin sports editor to that of a
WWF referee.

At once authoritative and ineffective, I try to keep guys four
times my size (or at least with egos that big) placated. All I need
is a blue short sleeve shirt and a little black bow tie, and my
role is complete.

So as I introduce you to the section, forgive me if I
occasionally digress into Daily Bruin (DB) war stories of grizzled
sportswriters fighting for the last sandwich in the press room or
jostling for position around the locker of a 7-foot-tall naked man.
The sheer insanity of the sports department sometimes leaves one a
little Spreewell-esque.

Our job here is simple – as the most read section in the paper
(don’t try to tell me you picked this paper up to find out about
the latest regents’ meeting or that new Fowler exhibit), we’re
going to provide you with a comprehensive sports section that will
enlighten as well as inform.

Yeah, that’s the line of sports editor B.S. that I’m supposed to
feed you.

In all actuality, what we really do around here is a lot more
complicated than that load of crap. I’m supposed to give you a
glimpse inside and to let you know how what we do turns into the
sports section you all hold in your hot little hands every day. So,
in the interest of being honest, let’s look at what staffers in
sports really do to put out the best section possible:

1. We have fun.

Unadulterated dirty jokes, wrestling matches, rubber band wars,
embarrassing athlete stories that would never make it into print –
all part of a day’s work at The Bruin.

The sports staff pretty much gets paid to hang out and talk
about sports all day, then go to games, sit in the press box, eat
and get drunk. Yep, that’s it. (I might add, however, that we seem
to get paid in pesos; the minimum-est wage in the world must exist
right here at 118 Kerckhoff.)

But all of this debauchery really serves you, the reader. (Watch
me justify our sick behavior by claiming a journalistic
purpose.)

Since we’re all just average Bruins around here, we try to put
out a section that the run-of-the-mill student would enjoy. So feel
free to stop by and give us your input. Of course, if you happen to
bring in a 40 ounce of Old-E in with you to add to our Wall O’
Beer, your opinion will be all that more warmly received.

The point is, we all have fun, and in turn, we want the reader
to have fun along with us.

2. We get free stuff.

Of course, this is a perk that never ever enters the mind of
those who work here. Traveling to Miami with the football team, on
the paper’s payroll? It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do
it.

When most people come to work in sports, their first thought is:
"I’m gonna get me some free stuff." They think front row seats at
basketball games, a better view of the cheerleaders, free luxury
hotel suites while partying with Cade McNown.

The truth of the matter is, free stuff is only earned through
hard and arduous journalism. You don’t get your hot little hands on
press passes until you’ve slaved your way through a beat like judo
or something.

Once you do get "free crap" status, however – it’s pretty easy
to get spoiled. Sitting close enough to Baron Davis to have his
sweat rain down on you after that rim-crashing dunk, then
sauntering your way into the locker room afterwards for some free
Gatorade – you can get pretty used to it, and then you refuse to
sleep outside like every other poor mere mortal for basketball
tickets. After all, you’re a journalist.

Sometimes it gets taken a little far – besides airfare, lodging
and transportation, the writers have been lobbying for a hooker
stipend. (And I don’t mean hooker in the rugby sense.)

Actually, the reason we do this is again, to make sure that
we’re giving you guys the most complete UCLA sports coverage
possible. So if that means vacationing in Puerto Rico with the
basketball team – we’ll do it, but just for you.

3. We make fun of the Daily Trojan.

That’s pretty self-explanatory. (This item will prompt hate mail
from about a dozen SUCers.)

4. We piss off sports information directors (SIDs).

Of course, we don’t enjoy doing it, and it’s never done on
purpose – I know that I’ve never done it. But I do believe that DB
Sports is a contributing factor to the premature aging of SIDs.

I don’t know how this happens, but it always does. We’re always
asking for press passes to this or a quote for that, and I guess
after a while, they tend to get upset with us. I can’t imagine
why.

5. On occasion, we write things too.

This is the serious part, the part that’s public, the part we
share with everybody out there. We’ve got a staff of great writers
around here, and they’re always ready to enlighten and entertain
(especially when they’re wasted).

What we don’t want is to have only our voices represented. Since
the section is for you, we’d like you to become as involved as
possible. So feel free to write us; tell us anything you’d like to
see in the Bruin Sports section, let us know that you want more
women’s golf coverage, whatever. Write us hate mail, even, just
keep the death threats to a minimum.

* * *

Now that I’ve pretty much pulled back the curtain and let you
see the sports section’s modus operandi, it’s only fair that I
introduce you to our cast of characters, because without them there
would be no section.

Our writers are too numerous to name one by one, but you’ll get
to know them by their words. Or just come by, as I said before, and
get them drunk, and you’ll know them even better than you want
to.

There are the three assistant sports editors – Greg, AJ and
Evan. You know, I must be living every girl’s fantasy to have two
and a half gorgeous guys working under me (I’m not going to tell
who the half is).

How to tell them apart – Greg is the resident UCLA basketball
groupie who knows anything and everything about all things Bruin.
He can quote Coach Lavin (and more amazingly, actually understand
some of Lav’s quotes) and knows all kinds of annoying details about
the team. You can spot him anywhere basketball players are sighted
or at any UCLA football game – he’ll be the only one talking about
basketball.

AJ’s all the way from the ghettos of San Jose, so he’s a Niners
fan and a Giants fan. But I hired him anyway. He’s also our token
South Campus major – pre-med, of course. So obviously, AJ can be
spotted in Powell studying, or in Kerckhoff studying, or studying
somewhere.

Evan’s really easy to find, ’cause he’s always driving around in
Westwood in his black Ford truck, bumping hip-hop music. The most
amazing thing about Evan is that he’s one of the few sports writers
who can actually play sports. (All of them try, few of them can
play.) As for spotting Ev, it’s pretty simple, because he’s always
out somewhere.

Anyways, all of this rambling leads me to a point – we want you
to know us, and we want to know you.

Now that I’ve introduced myself, the section, and the staff, I
guess my job of spewing sports editor BS is done. Remember, we’re
here for you.

It’s not quite the mind-numbing, pride-swallowing siege that
Jerry Maguire described, but it’s still pretty hectic, so forgive
us if we get carried away with ourselves sometimes.

Overall, things are looking good this year for UCLA athletics,
and I hope you’ll come along with us as we try to cover it all for
you.

So please stick around – it’s going to be a wild ride.

Mack is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she’s kind of
cute, so we’ll forgive her. She is the 1998-1999 Sports editor.

Traci Mack

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