First-time users lost in cyberspace

Monday, July 6, 1998

First-time users lost in cyberspace

COMMUNICATION: Chat rooms awaken angst-ridden tyro to madness of
cybersexBy Julianne Sohn

Intro to Cybersex. OMG (Oh my God!). Boredom often becomes a
catalyst which motivates sane people to do insane things. This
thought weighed heavily on my mind as I read the words suspended on
the computer monitor. What was I doing in yet another chat
room?

In the latest edition of the UCLA magazine, a section called
"Glimpses of Student Life" lists the results of a survey with
topics ranging from hanging out to relationships.

Apparently, the majority of the participants polled felt that
searching for love on the Web was strictly for geeks. Searching for
love in general is a fairly pathetic endeavor, regardless of what
medium one uses to find it. This also applies to those merely in
love with making money. But who cares about love and money? What
really matters is sex.

With advances in technology come advances in ways to satisfy
one’s sexual needs. Sometimes it’s as easy as logging on to the
Internet. Being the curious, Nietzsche-loving fiend I am, I
inadvertently found myself in a place I would not normally be if I
wasn’t so bored.

Somehow during one of my Web surfing expeditions through
cyberspace, I stumbled across this deceptively harmless-looking
chat room. Being a novice at this method of virtual communication,
I couldn’t really follow what some people were typing. For those of
you who only use your computers as over-priced word processors, the
following is a sample of the madness I found on the Web:

Mary: LOL, you are crazy jen.

jen: ROFL, you’re the crazy one.

pigLeT: Hey, what’s up everyone?

Mary: (((((((pigLeT)))))))

jen: hey how are you? :)

LOL? What sort of weird cult term was that? ROFL? Is that some
sort of band? What was I still doing online for over two hours,
missing classes for small talk over the Internet? I sat there
perplexed as the acronyms filled the screen.

My suspicions regarding this chatting business were slowly
confirmed by the odd happenings in this room. Many of the
participants spoke in some weird code and probably never left their
rooms, save for basic human needs.

Feeling like an outcast, I moved to another chat room searching
for a kindred spirit. I ended up in the teen lesbian chat, hoping I
would meet some interesting person. (I admit that I am no longer
the angst-ridden, cynical teenager I once was, nor am I the "hella
dyke" some people believe me to be, yet.)

For this particular chat room, the moment a new person enters
the chat you see a message that states their nickname and their
profile. So when Ms. Math Teach entered, the dynamic of the room
changed. Her profile proudly admitted that her undergarments were
not as dry as they should be and that she was "oh so horny." (All
right, let me cut out the tact for you, but reader discretion is
advised.)

Being the perfect, incompetent beginner, I greeted Ms. Math
Teach. While attempting to type in "Odd how a student trying to
ditch class is reminded of class everywhere she goes," Ms. Math
Teach sent a private chat request to me.

Still not thinking, I accepted her invitation. I sensed trouble
brewing. What can one expect from a math teacher with such a
profile? I had surfed through chat rooms relatively unscathed when
it came to any sort of weird cyber-games. To avoid any
uncomfortable misunderstandings, I attempted to explain that I was
new to chatting and that maybe I should go to class.

Ms. Math Teach would have none of that. She convinced me to stay
awhile and talk. Talk quickly turned into Ms. Math Teach trying to
alleviate some of the distress she obviously felt, judging from her
profile. She began by giving me a virtual massage. That sounded
reasonable. So I kept talking to her about her future while trying
to figure out how to disconnect myself from the net manually.

But did Ms. Math Teach stop there? No. She described in detail
acts that her ex-girlfriend enjoyed and kept emphasizing that I was
the same age as her former lover. Ms. Math Teach turned out to be
32.

It took me about 10 minutes to tell Ms. Math Teach that I had
other things to do and that I was not interested in cybersex. I
found myself almost pressured into this situation, and I had images
in my head that I didn’t want floating around in there.

My once sedate journey to find interesting conversation
definitely changed after that particular incident. The first thing
I learned was that in most chat rooms there is a function that
allows you to ignore a particularly annoying person.

Some well-meaning chat room mate warned me that people tend to
enjoy pretending to be someone else in chat rooms. Theoretically,
one can live out a multitude of vicarious experiences on the
Web,but for me, I’d opt for the real thing. There’s only so much
virtual life I can stand.

I don’t have to look far to find someone who spends hours a day
slaving over a virtual network of friends. One of my brothers
enjoys going into various chat rooms pretending to be voluptuous,
flirtatious Stephanie. I don’t really want to think about what
sorts of things he says or what type of reputation he wants his
alter-ego to maintain.

Cybersex fulfills an interesting need for some people out there.
Just how many people do engage in such things? That’s a good
question. Ultimately, I don’t seek out such interactions with other
people on the Web. The Internet is a great tool that can be used to
help research various topics in the comfort of one’s own home and
can be used to keep in contact with people around the world.

Several weeks ago, however, I managed to put myself into yet
another interesting situation. I maintained close contact with
someone I met in a chat. This particular person insisted that we
exchange phone numbers. Like an utter fool, I offered my
number.

For several weeks after our initial encounter, this particular
person kept calling to talk. This was how I first met someone who
spent much time looking for phone sex partners via the Internet.
(No, I didn’t oblige the person. Where is your mind?)

Arming oneself through education is the best defense when daring
to enter a chat room. Remember that the ignore function is a
blessing and that you should never be forced to see things that you
don’t want to see. Be wary of those people out there. You don’t
know if it is a guy impersonating a girl or vice versa. (But who
really cares? It’s a mode of escape. So yes, you too can be the
cross-dressing, tarot card-reading Marine.)

As for me, I plan on avoiding such rooms as "cybersex" and other
blatant giveaways. (On the other hand, cybersex is an interesting
act that is definitely more fun than writing a column during the
wee hours of the morning while suffering from sleep deprivation and
utter lack of cohesive thought.)

Ms. Math Teach taught me a valuable lesson without ever pulling
out her chalk. From now on, I plan to stay away from her and all
the numbers I can. BTW (By the way), LOL means "laughing out loud"
and ROFL means "rolling on the floor laughing." So much for the
great cybersex international cult; perhaps boredom isn’t such a bad
idea after all.Sohn is a prime example of what occurs to those with
insomnia issues. She can be reached at [email protected].