Bruins linked by unappreciated bond

Tuesday, May 19, 1998

Bruins linked by unappreciated bond

BRUINSPEAK: Sharing UCLA-isms, campus experiences as fellow

college students inspires unity

This school is huge. So what else is new? We were warned about
its size long before we came and turned into numbers upon arrival.
Sometimes we feel lost, floating amidst strange faces. But it’s
amazing to think about what a tight-knit culture we actually are.
You and me. You and her. Them.

We’re of surprisingly similar breeds. First, we’re college
students. It’s OK to feel special; only a small percentage of the
country is enrolled in college. That in itself makes us rare.

We know the pros and cons of an all-you-can-eat cafeteria. We
are familiar with the phenomenon of studying hours for a test and
doing poorly, or thinking we did awful and getting a decent grade.
We are stressed about grad school, ad school, make-you-mad-school.
GRE, LSAT, am I getting fat? Where to live, when to pay rent, how’s
my money spent?

As members of the collegiate crowd, we are entitled to other
exclusive privileges as well. We are endowed with the ability to
use college-speak.

We know what "short answer" is, that it’s a genre of test
questions and not a phrase to describe clipped, quick, angry
retorts. A "scantron" is not a Japanimation character or a comic
book hero who dates Thor. A "frat" is not fart misspelled (although
I suppose it could be); coupons can mean the difference between a
three-course meal and Frosted Flakes.

But more important than being college students, we are UCLA
students. We live in our own mini culture, like collegiate mini
M&Ms.

And believe me, we share much more than a hatred for parking
attendants.

We share a vocabulary and a language that non-UCLA people just
can’t comprehend. We know that Bunche isn’t something you get your
panties in. We understand the pride in a Pauley Dog. We cringe when
we hear "information entered must be in a specific format …
please try again" because we know She is annoyed with us. We go to
"Buck Fifty," we grab some "Panda." Joe and Josephine are our
eternal best friends, and "tunneling" is what we all vow to do
before we graduate. AGB is not the name of one of our 500 student
groups (ASU, CSA, ASA, VSU, JSU), but a place where some of our
culture’s finest have stood. We burn Trojans, treasuring the sex ed
lesson that heat causes them to break.

Only UCLA students can fully understand the meaning of seismic
renovation. Only we know the thrill of stepping into an archaic
building that has been boarded up since our very first glimpse of
the quad.

We have our own Mall of America, and when we say we’re picking
up our Bonus Gift from the Clinique Counter, friends know we aren’t
trekking to Macy’s. Breadsticks isn’t just a side dish; cookies for
a quarter are a luxury. Stopping by Al’s to schmooze about
university politics doesn’t refer to the Happy Days diner. Papa
Murphy is not a long-lost smurf.

Only UCLA students can fathom the wave of delight, joy, sheer
relief and ecstasy that arose when In-N-Out blessed Westwood with
its presence. Only we know that an SBAR is not a place with a $10
cover and that the Bruincard does not offer gold platinum
memberships. We realize that you walk to Wooden for a workout but
you run the perimeter to work up a sweat. That URSA will never
reimburse ya. Fiddler on the Roof has tradition – we have that,
along with admission, petition, seeing your education come to
fruition. PTE is what we beg our profs for, whereas your pet only
knows how to beg. Orion and Melvyl are our pals.

The Bombshelter is something truly scary; CSOs keep us safe. We
lose our minds if we lose our DPRs; we know that R denotes
Thursday. The IM Field is our playground; Janss steps are not how
we learn to tango. KLA is something we all think exists but can
never seem to hear.

For Bruins, beating ‘SC is not a dream – it’s an expectation.
USAC is more than a football play (though it may possess some of
the same nasty competitive characteristics). Our EXPO Center can
take you farther than Epcot Center; EAP will leave you Eating Among
Parisians.

Myerhoff Park offers a chance to speak up, smoke out, soak up
sun. The numbers 187, 209, 227 are as personal as our SIDs (not a
childhood fatality). A prof utters "Take five" to signal the break
in your two hour class, but "taking four" refers to the number of
classes you’re pulling, while "take three" is heard in film
school-land.

In our dreams we do eight-claps while leaping over signboards.
Hershey isn’t about chocolate, although they might serve some in
the dining hall. The Coop is not the same as The Co-op; you are not
reading the Viewpoint Lounge.

Who needs coffee grinds when we have Coffee Beans? Why take a
class for a grade if you can do it pass/no pass?

Where else does a bear sit at the center of campus, an Inverted
Fountain offer the perfect pseudo-beach and a sculpture garden
liven up our drab days?

Only we, the members of the UCLA community, can grasp the
meaning behind these places, words and phrases. These are Bruin
terms. You use them when you’re in Bruin country. And what a wild
ride it is.

Yet isn’t it ironic how we remain so divided when we share so
much? No one can deny the power of language, and we are so
obviously entangled in each other’s. So why waste time fighting?
Why are we so quick to isolate ourselves from our peers?
Differences are important, you say. Absolutely. But so, my friends,
are similarities.

So tear this column out and save it. Put it with your UCLA
memorabilia or in your special stuff box. Not only will it be worth
big bucks when I become famous, but it serves as a collection of
UCLA-isms that you can look back upon many years from now when
nostalgia knocks your cane right out from under you.Pfeffer is a
GDI (goddamned individual) who can be reached at
[email protected].