Crystal ball tells of season picks, victor-to-be in NBA’s L.A. rivalry

Wednesday, October 29, 1997

Crystal ball tells of season picks, victor-to-be in NBA’s L.A.
rivalry

COLUMN:

The time has come for the great and all-knowing sports genie to
look into his crystal basketball and foresee what will happen on
the NBA hardwood this year. Believe what I say to be true, for I am
the one who predicted the San Diego Padres to win the West this
year, for the Indians to win the World Series, for the WNBA to fall
flat on its face, for the Cincinnati Bearcats to win the Final Four
last year … OK, so I may have been hampered by a slight
french-fry stain on my crystal ball. This time I will be right.

Here are 10 things to look forward to this season and a glimpse
of the L.A. cross-town NBA rivalry. (Yeah, I know you are saying
there is no rivalry – the Clippers stink. But hey, let me dream.)
Man, "I love this game!"

1) The Washington Wizards will weave some magic and will make it
one step from the finals, falling once again to Michael Jordan.
Stacked with Chris Webber, Calbert Cheaney, Rod Strickland and
Juwan Howard, only injuries can lock up their sorcery.

2) The Boston Celtics will be fun to watch – run, run, run
little guards. But with a rookie squad and only guards on the team
(I didn’t see any forwards or a center in their pre-season) a
losing season will await Rick Pitino. At least they will do better
than the Nets and the 76ers, but who won’t?

3) Rookie of the year is already slotted for Tim Duncan. Yeah,
he may be a good pick, but why be reasonable? I am going with God
Shammgodd. I always bet on piety over ability – sorry, Tim.

4) Surprise team of the year: the Phoenix Suns. Watch them run
‘n’ gun (just like the old UNLV teams of yore) with Kevin Johnson
and Jason Kidd. This is a small team with a ferocious attitude and
athletes quicker than Speedy Gonzalez. One other purple and yellow
team will vie for the top spot in the West.

5) My beloved Houston Rockets will eventually run out of gas and
bow out early in the play-offs – unless Charles Barkley can also
throw a basketball through glass. "Houston, we have a problem."

6) Penny Hardaway will leave Lil’ Penny’s pool party and light
up the scoreboards this year as he switches from point to shooting
guard. The match-up to watch all year will be the Magic squaring
off against the Heat: Tim Hardaway vs. Penny Hardaway. Uncle vs.
nephew.

7) Seven-foot men will do the same thing they always do:
completely stink. (Except for Gheorge Mhuresan, who has that great
cabbage-smelling cologne). But what I wouldn’t do to see Manute Bol
back in action for the Chicago Bulls (poor Shaq wouldn’t stand a
chance)!

8) With the introduction of Terrell Brandon, the "Big Dog" Glenn
Robinson will be unleashed onto the Milwaukee Bucks. This team will
knock someone out of the play-offs.

9) The Utah Jazz will regain its old form of before last year
and lose in the first round of the play-offs to – dare I say it
(gulp) – the Clippers.

10) Who will win the title? Da Bulls. I don’t care who gets
injured on the Bulls, Michael Jordan can carry any team. As long as
Jordan is around I want to see him play, so let’s see him in the
finals. I would take Michael Jordan over the whole Sacramento Kings
team in a pick-up game.

Now on to what everyone has been waiting for: the L.A.
cross-town rivalry between the Lakers and the Clippers. No matter
what this series has, a lot of water is floating around it. But
since clippers are better sailors, I pick them for a clean sweep.
(Don’t even be logical and tell me that the Clippers haven’t won a
series since Naismith invented the game.) The Clips are
unstoppable.

Center Keith Closs will kill Shaq. Who cares if Shaq outweighs
him by 800 pounds? What the Clips have to worry about is the rest
of the Lakers team. But they do have one advantage: a better
coach.

Del Harris looks lost on the court. (Hey, look! Robert Horry has
failed to miss a three-pointer in the first half! Let’s not give
him the ball until the end of the game. See Utah Jazz vs. Lakers
play-off series.) The Lakers need Pat Riley back. Bill Fitch is not
the greatest – but not worst – coach to visit the dark side of the
NBA in Los Angeles.

So how can the Clippers win the series? Intangibles, my friends,
intangibles (that and too much crazy glue).

Now I must leave, but remember: while you’re picking which team
to put bones on, my crystal ball is trustworthy – I got it at the
Cooperage. It hasn’t failed me in the past, except for when I
picked Michigan over Duke in the Final Four.

Salmon is a Clippers fan and knows that they will lure Jordan
from Chicago next year. E-mail responses to
[email protected].

Rocky Salmon