This post was updated June 8 at 11:18 p.m.

A single mom from Idaho, a realtor from Palmdale, California, and a local Los Angeles alumnus all have one thing in common – they are avid followers of the UCLA Parents Facebook page.

With the explosion of social media in the past couple of decades, Facebook groups have emerged as virtual commonplaces to discuss and connect with other users with the same interests and affiliations. Somewhere between concert ticket resale groups and family groups that trace back generations are college parent groups that connect a subset of Facebook users embarking on their own milestone – being empty nesters. Both pages and groups exist, and they attract hundreds of thousands of members at any given time.

With users posting anything from, “Can someone recommend good, local places for birthday cakes, cupcakes or others that deliver?” to “Hi everyone, my daughter found this on her bed today. We are not sure if this is bed bugs or what,” the range of posts in these groups are wide enough for a case study into the minds of the parents.

Unofficial groups allow parents an extra space to post their own questions, concerns and advice, as opposed to the UCLA Parents Facebook page which is run by the UCLA Parent and Family Association. Kayla Albano, director with the Student Alumni Programs and Family Engagement team, said in a written statement that the official page exists to share information and resources with families and connect parents, regardless of how far they are from campus. The association’s broader mission includes providing parents with opportunities for involvement in the overall campus community.

“There is a commitment at UCLA around including family members in the college experience – whether they are a Bruin alum themselves, never attended college or are somewhere in between,” Albano said in the statement. “I think that helps our Bruin families find a home here, too.”

James Engel, the parent of a second-year cognitive science student, said some of the topics most commonly talked about in these spaces are geared toward out-of-state families. As a local Angeleno, he said he helps when parents ask questions about housing, the neighborhoods of LA or out-of-state rules.

Linda Herrera has a son who is a first-year global jazz studies student at UCLA, and she sometimes feels farther than the nearly 60 miles that separate Palmdale, where she lives, and the campus in LA. A resident of Idaho, Kristi Schwindt said she can also attest to the difficulty of distance and uses the Facebook page as a means for closeness with her son as she observes the college atmosphere from states away.

“Being able to get on the Facebook page and read the updates and how compassionate and supportive the families that are local there are of even my son and (were) willing to help him out – it was amazing,” Schwindt said. “We’re all sharing in the same thing.”

The Facebook groups and pages took on a new level of importance in January during the LA County fires. While both broadcast news and official UCLA-affiliated social media pages provided information for parents who were miles away, Facebook parent communities offered support from parents who were in the same situation.

As an out-of-state parent, Schwindt was unable to drop everything to rush to her son’s side. She said she saw the devastation in the local and national news and found solace in hearing firsthand updates from other parents on the Facebook page.

“It was amazing because all the families that are local were opening up their homes and offering meals, or ‘if your child can’t get home, they can come stay with us,’” Schwindt said. “This was a really cool feeling to know that, ‘Oh my gosh. I don’t even know these people, but they feel like family.’”

Herrera felt a similar relief from her home in Palmdale as she received messages from other parents late into the night, assuring her they would help her son evacuate if needed. Engel, who lives in the LA area, offered a place to stay for out-of-state students through posts in Facebook groups.

“I think everybody that is involved with a UCLA student will actually step up and offer help if need be as a parent,” Engel said. “It’s kind of a tangent parallel world to alumni, in that being a UCLA Bruin parent is kind of the same credentials as an alumni because you’re indirectly involved, and you become a part of that life.”

Many parents are members of multiple Facebook communities, getting official news from one source and more centralized advice from the other. Herrera warned that Facebook pages can sometimes be misleading and turn panicked when something is happening on campus because it is not vetted. She added that there is some confusion over who runs certain pages – parents or UCLA – so she goes to pages she knows are run by official entities, such as UCPD, for official updates.

The community found in these digital spaces extends beyond times of crises. For example, second-year political science student Noah Alford said parents may post if their kid has an extra concert ticket or to offer their homes to out-of-state students over the holidays. Beyond serving as a forum for parents, the page’s followers also include students. Alford, who is Schwindt’s son, said the page can be a valuable resource for topics such as housing, because it provides perspectives of current students, parents and alumni.

“There’s also parents who are in there who either have students who have graduated or who have multiple students,” he said. “Having those perspectives as well are really helpful to really get the big picture and be able to ask questions for people who have gone through situations or know the ropes of UCLA.”

Some might term parents’ over-involvement in their children’s college career as “helicoptering.” However, Albano said that parents and families have – naturally – increased engagement with universities, especially following the COVID-19 pandemic and increased strike and protest activity on campuses.

Schwindt said developments in technology and social media have also had a large impact on familial relationships, as parents now have access to news from campus in real time instead of having to wait and watch the news. Engel said parents mainly follow campus events from a distance through social media as opposed to the in-person community building alumni experience. When he lived in Westwood, Engel said he used to get his campus news from the Daily Bruin newspaper but now uses Reddit.

Furthermore, Herrera said there has been a cultural shift. She said there are a certain number of parents in the comments of Facebook pages that since their kids are now 18, there should be a hands-off approach, but Herrera disagrees. In her generation, it was typical for one to live on their own and work full time at this age – even having kids and getting married. However, with the changing world, she believes parents should be a safety net for their kids if needed.

“I respect him as an adult, and I think there needs to be a balance,” she said. “He knows if he struggles for anything or if there’s anything he might need – as a professional, as a student or just as my kid – he can call me, and I’m going to help him in any way I can.”

In a written statement, Albano said colleges in the 20th century abided by the idea that they were taking the place of the parent, but an increased accessibility of higher education has replaced that idea with the “co-parenting” between the university and parent. Herrera said she was very involved in her son’s life and extracurriculars during high school, but she planned to take a step back once he entered college. However, on Facebook, she found a community that helped her engage with campus through connecting with other families.

No matter the reason or level of involvement in UCLA parent Facebook spaces, parents and children alike find the platform has helped them feel more connected with each other and the broader campus community. When a student chooses a college, distance from home is often a factor that they consider, but community Facebook groups and pages take some of the weight off of that consideration.

“You don’t know everything. You’re smart. You got into UCLA, but the world is very different,” Herrera said. “We brought you into this world, and, until I leave this world, I’m here to help and make your life as good as it can be.”