The Dam Truth: Dismissing misogyny as ‘locker room talk’ perpetuates prejudice
Presidential nominee Donald Trump came under fire this weekend for lewd comments he made in 2005. Although Trump dismissed it as “locker room talk,” critics from both parties as well as athletes said the Republican candidate’s words described sexual assault. (Creative Commons photo by Gage Skidmore via Flickr)
By TuAnh Dam
Oct. 10, 2016 9:55 p.m.
Dear Donald Trump,
I’m a sports writer, so I never thought I’d be writing anything about you this year, but here we are.
This weekend, I was in Tempe, Arizona covering the UCLA football team’s dismal loss to ASU. Before games, I have my own pregame traditions – I walk around by myself, take in the sights of a new city and just think.
That morning, I was thinking about your video. The one that millions of people across the country have seen. The one that embodied rape culture and described sexual assault. The one that you dismissed as “locker room talk.”
That one. And it made me think about a lot of things.
The night before, our host in Phoenix took us out after midnight to a local diner. I walked with four guys through a pitch dark street, an abandoned lot next to us and drunk people stumbling around on the opposite side of the street.
I wouldn’t have felt safe if I were walking by myself, I thought.
I pride myself on being tough and able to handle anything, but when I am by myself anywhere after midnight, I’m more cognizant of my vulnerability.
It brought me back to my very first training as a Daily Bruin intern almost two years ago. Our instructor looked at me – the only girl in the room – and told me I would always be held to a higher standard than my male classmates when I went out into the field.
I’d have to dress differently, act differently and work harder than anyone I met.
There aren’t many women out there doing what you’re going to be doing, he said. But there are a lot of guys out there you’ll meet – in the press box, the field and newsroom – who won’t take you seriously and will treat you differently any chance they can.
They won’t respect you.
Girls don’t get a free pass – I didn’t.
Boys should not get one for so-called “locker room talk”.
I already know a stadium or arena is not always the friendliest place for girls.
No, no one grabbed my p****. They did grab my ass though and squeezed it to make it very clear they were in control despite how uncomfortable and angry I got. Then there were the comments – the ones that talk about how I’m a dumb bitch who doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Or the implicit bias from others who assume I’m a guy because of what I do.
[Claire-ification: Issues in sports are universal, we should keep tackling them]
I’ve been humiliated, frustrated, demoralized and mostly just disappointed.
Locker rooms are for women too – journalists, photographers, coaches, training staff and, of course, athletes.
Excusing what you said as locker room talk or dismissing it as another version of “boys will be boys” does nothing to make girls like me feel safe, protected or respected.
Yes, I’m aware women aren’t always in locker rooms and sometimes in the heat of the moment with your “bros” around, it’s easy to say things you don’t really mean and could regret.
In September, former UCLA recruit Mique Juarez made references on Twitter to senior defensive end Takk McKinley being emotional and petty “like a female.”
No one’s perfect. Juarez quickly took down his tweet, likely after coaches or athletic staff members told him to. I’d hope no current UCLA athletes think his words were acceptable.
Numerous athletes reacted to you on Twitter and social media collectively and none of them has heard statements like yours from their teammates. They, like so many athletes, sports-lovers, journalists – and really just people in general – are aware that raw words about groping a woman are horrific.
Former UCLA punter Chris Kluwe wrote a similar letter denouncing your comments this afternoon.
I wrote a thing on Donald Trump and “the locker room”! You can read it here. It has bad words. https://t.co/1o9HXAqxDk
— Chris Kluwe (@ChrisWarcraft) October 10, 2016
He said he never encountered such degrading comments in four years in college and eight years in the NFL, even from a fellow teammate who turned out to be a serial rapist.
I’m happy to say no coach or player I’ve interacted with has ever been so disrespectful to me, and I hope it continues to stay that way.
So no Mr. Trump, it’s not locker room talk.
It’s just you.
