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First Step aims to support LGBT students in Greek life

By Lawrence Han

April 25, 2013 12:19 a.m.

She lives under the same roof as 160 other sorority sisters, many of whom are her close friends.

But she still sometimes feels lonely – the majority of her house does not know that she identifies as bisexual.

Although the close friends she came out to in her sorority were very supportive, she said she feels it is difficult for them to truly understand her situation.

“It’s hard because although my best friends (in the house) are great … they can’t really relate (to what it’s) like to be kind of confused,” said the student, who asked to remain anonymous.

To provide support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students involved in Greek life who are uncomfortable with coming out to their chapter members, a pair of UCLA students created a support group, known as First Step, which will begin holding meetings next week.

First Step will meet on a different day, time and location to preserve the anonymity of the group’s members, said Cyrus Sinai, a second-year international development studies student and one of the founders of the group. The information will only be disclosed to members who email the group asking about the meeting.

“Everything in the room is confidential,” said Sinai. “Not that it’s a dirty secret that you’re there, but for many people this will literally be their first step coming out.”

Sinai, who is openly gay in his fraternity, said he hopes the meetings will attract closeted students who are not comfortable with coming out in their fraternities or sororities to receive support from other students in similar situations.

“It’s a place to make friends and to get to know other people in the Greek system who are in the same situation as you,” Sinai said. “Coming out is a lot easier when you can relate and talk to people who have been through similar things.”

He said although it is primarily for students involved in Greek life, First Step welcomes all LGBT students.

Matt Panopio, a third-year atmospheric, oceanic and environmental sciences student and openly gay member of Theta Xi, said he thinks First Step will be effective in making LGBT students feel more comfortable around their chapter members.

Over a year has passed since Panopio came out to his chapter, and throughout the year he said he has received nothing but support and understanding from his fraternity brothers.

“I told some brothers one at a time and eventually word just spread,” Panopio said. “And it was perfectly fine, no one really brought it up, and if someone asked me I was just like ‘yeah I am.’”

Panopio added, however, that not everyone may have such a positive experience coming out.

He said he thinks First Step will be effective in making LGBT students who are not comfortable enough to go the LGBT center or don’t know how their friends are going to react feel more comfortable with their sexuality.

“It can be scary because just talking to people and letting out your feelings about your identity is a good way to start coming out,” Panopio said.

Taylor Bazley, a third-year political science student, said that although no specific incident motivated the duo to take steps to create First Step, he and Sinai had been considering the idea of anonymous support meetings on campus for the past three quarters.

“There’s probably been demand for a meeting space since Greek life has been at UCLA,” Bazley said. “We just didn’t know how to create one (protecting anonymity).”

Sinai said he and Bazley have been working closely with the LGBT Campus Resource Center to secure a meeting space on campus.

Raja Bhattar, the director of the LGBT Campus Resource Center, said the center has been supporting Sinai and Bazley by helping them secure spaces to meet on campus, as well as answering administrative questions.

The Fraternity and Sorority Relations office also helped by informing students in the UCLA Greek system about First Step through weekly emails that included information about how to find out about the meetings, Sinai added.

Troy Bartels, an adviser with Fraternity and Sorority Relations said in an emailed statement that his department is in full support of any student group that is willing to provide support for Greek students.

“We are talking with (the) students to find the best private space for them to meet,” Bartels said in the email.

The sorority sister who is still not out to her entire sorority student said that she would be interested in attending a First Step meeting in the future.

“I would love to have a group of people I can connect with, especially if they are in the Greek community,” she said. “It can be alienating at times.”

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