Finding His Rock

Wednesday, November 6, 1996

FOOTBALL:

Brian Willmer excels after rediscovering his faithBy Brent
Boyd

Daily Bruin Senior Staff

For many, the Bruin statue in Westwood Plaza is just a place to
hang out. For Brian Willmer, it was the place where he turned his
life around.

Willmer, a junior middle linebacker and current leading tackler
for the UCLA football squad, vividly remembers the day as if it
were yesterday. After all, it was the day he regained something
very important to him, something he now thrives on, something he
had neglected for the previous five years.

On that day over two years ago, Brian Willmer regained his
faith.

"We started talking about it and I just told him I just couldn’t
take it anymore," Willmer said, remembering his life-changing
conversation with Rod Harrison, director of the Christian group,
Athletes in Action.

"I told him I was living a lie, living my life for all of the
wrong reasons. It was at the Bear that I just rededicated my life.
And ever since then it has just been awesome, with what the Lord
has blessed me and continually showed me."

Trying to adjust to his family’s move from Chicago to Orange
County, Willmer began to lose his faith during his freshman year of
high school.

He had come to a crossroads in his life. One path to take was
that of continuing his relationship with his Lord. The other was to
become popular, make lots of new friends, and in the process put
his faith in the background. He chose the latter, deciding to party
instead of studying the Bible. For Willmer, it was the wrong
choice. It just wasn’t his style.

"I was presented with a choice and took the wrong road, and (I)
took a little journey," he said. "I was kind of doing my own thing.
I put Christ on the back burner, in a sense. I always knew it
wasn’t right, but I wanted to be accepted by the world’s
standards."

"I was told, ‘You need to do this and this, and when you attain
it you will achieve happiness’ … But it wasn’t true. I saw a
glass bottom and it all fell out."

It all started to shatter during his first year at UCLA. His
life had become engrossed by football. Throughout high school,
Willmer was the star, leading his team to championships. But, when
he arrived at UCLA, he failed to make even the traveling squad.

Redshirting his first collegiate season, Willmer spent practices
in much the same way he was spending his life ­ pretending to
be someone he was not.

During practice, as a member of the scout team, Willmer wore the
numbers of opposing players and ran plays their defenses were
expected to display against the Bruins the following Saturday.

"It was a really humbling experience for me because I was so
used to playing," Willmer said. "I had just come off having a great
senior year, and all that stuff that goes along with it, and they
said, ‘You’re going to be our dummy.’ It was tough to swallow it
and basically realize that you’re a nobody out there."

The frustration continued to mount through the course of that
season and through the preseason practice of the following year. At
that point, he was still not an integral part of the team and was
unhappy with his life in general.

"What had happened was that I loved to play sports my whole
life. One of the reasons I loved it was that people would pat me on
the back when I did something good," Willmer said. "I got a lot of
acceptance from that, and I felt like people really just kind of
showed their support for me that way.

"But that was no longer happening. At the beginning of the year
I still wasn’t playing. Things that had been there before just
weren’t cutting it for me anymore. I knew that I should have been
giving glory to the Lord, and I felt a lot of conviction. All of
the people, the awards… none of that stuff was (there anymore). I
was just a regular guy, and it wasn’t cutting it for me going up to
the party scene and what-not. It wasn’t filling me. It just wasn’t
filling me."

It was at that time, after practice one summer afternoon, that
he and Harrison had their chat.

"I said enough is enough. I needed to quit deceiving myself. I
just asked Him to come back into my life," Willmer said. "He had
always been there, but I basically recommitted my life. I said I
needed a change and was willing to do whatever it took. It didn’t
happen overnight ­ it’s a continual progression. I’m
continually learning what I need to improve in my life. The
important thing is to keep walking forward."

"Basically, that is my foundation. That’s my rock."

Leaning on that rock enabled him to survive a difficult season a
year ago. He started in the team opener, but was benched when
Donnie Edwards was switched to his position. Willmer returned to
the lineup again when Edwards was injured in the third game of the
season, but after Edwards recovered, he was relegated to being a
substitute for the season finale against USC and for the Aloha
Bowl.

"Last year there were a lot of trying times for me," he said. "I
just put trust in the Lord because he showed me a lot. He showed me
that my trust and my faith needs to be in Him and not in this game
of football. I grew a lot and matured a lot not only as a person,
but as a football player."

He has grown into the leader of the defensive squad. As the
middle linebacker, he is expected to study the offensive formation,
and, in turn, line the defensive players up in the right
position.

"He’s basically the quarterback of the defense," head coach Bob
Toledo said. "He directs everybody where to go."

Being in charge and in the middle is a responsibility Willmer
has truly embraced.

"I enjoy it a lot," he said. "(During) spring ball I played a
little outside linebacker and it was different not being in the
middle screaming and everything that I’ve become accustomed to. I’d
feel kind of out of place if I wasn’t screaming the play calls and
such."

Being in the middle is part of the reason why Willmer leads the
team with 71 tackles. But, his overall love of the game is what
allows him to have 25 more than any other Bruin.

In nearly four years at UCLA, he has never missed a
practice.

"I try to treat every play as if it’s my last play," he said.
"I’ve really learned to love this game and I’ve really learned that
it’s dwindling down quick. I need to take advantage of the plays I
have left, because each play is one less I’ll have left in my
career."

Willmer hopes his career extends a little longer than the one
season of eligibility he has remaining at UCLA. He would love to
play in the NFL.

According to defensive coordinator Rocky Long, a professional
career is not out of the realm of possibilities.

"I think he’s a tough enough player for the NFL," Long said.
"He’s got the size and if he continues his work ethic he’s got a
chance."

Unlike many others, however, if Willmer is not selected on Draft
Day two years from now, he won’t be left without anywhere to turn.
He’s got a clear path in front of him.

"I’ll do whatever it takes to get that opportunity, but if it
doesn’t happen, it just doesn’t happen," he said. "It’s in the
Lord’s hands. I would be totally grateful and excited about it, but
if it doesn’t happen then I’ll just move on to another aspect in my
life."

Even if he does end up playing on Sundays for millions of
dollars in front of thousands of admirers, Willmer will not forget
what he has learned the last few years about himself and about life
in general. He now realizes the true importance of football in the
grand scheme of things.

"You know, one of the biggest things I’ve learned is that I’ve
had the opportunity to play in front of a national television
audience and all that stuff, but none of that can compare with the
times that I have seen people coming to Christ. The times that I
have just been able to spend with some of my roommates, just
sharing how things are going in our lives, our walks and our
relationships, leading Bible studies and all that. I can’t tell you
how much joy and satisfaction I get from being involved in those
things."

So maybe the path he chose wasn’t the wrong one after all. After
all, it led him to Westwood Plaza where he recovered his lucky
rock.

Photo Illustration by CHARLES KUO/Daily Bruin

Combining a strong religious faith with a great work ethic has
allowed linebacker Brian Willmer to become the center of UCLA’s
defense and its leading tackler.