UC students: Stop whining about fees

UC students: Stop whining about fees

Thank taxpayers for subsidizing education

By Daniel Garstka

How dire are the lives of students. Some of them actually have
class at 10:00 a.m.; some of them actually need to pay some of
their fees; and some teaching assistants, rumor has it, are
actually required to come in on Fridays.

I have no doubt that specimen of the species who finance their
education by hard labor behind a grill really exist, and I salute
them with all the humility attendant upon being a member of the
spoiled class.

That said, however, my admission that I do not possess a car and
that I occasionally take the bus produces incredulous shrieks from
those whom I let in on my dirty little secret.

Last I heard, the cost to insure a car in Los Angeles came to a
good $1,000 a year; add the cost of buying and maintaining the
thing, and you could purchase a few readers, even if they come at
the outrageous expense of 50 bucks apiece.

I also know a few individuals who actually do some cooking, but
then I have yet to meet anyone on campus who would refuse the
suggestion to go out for dinner, however humble his or her
background.

Teaching assistants (I, too, am guilty of being one) seem to be
a particularly pitiful lot, stuck in abject poverty and subject to
the cruelest exploitation. I added up the partial fee waivers,
medical insurance benefits and monthly pay; in hourly wages, it all
comes to around $20 after tax, give or take a few cents.

The question of fees is, of course, another favorite witness to
the wretched condition of the student. From what I gather, higher
education at a major private university these days comes to at
least $20,000 a year. Since these institutions are not run for
profit and receive generous support from alumni and other
benefactors, it is probably safe to assume that the real
cost-per-year per college student runs closer to $30,000 or $40,000
a year.

This means that even out-of-staters at UCLA, who pay about three
times what residents do, are likely to have perhaps two-thirds of
their real tuition bills paid by benefactors and taxpayers!

This also suggests that for residents, the figure runs at least
six-to-one. Now, many resident students or their family members may
contribute to the California tax coffers, which brings the figure
down variably. Yet even they are highly unlikely to have actually
paid for anything even approaching half the educational goodies
they consume.

All this is not to say that there may not be good reasons to
subsidize education. (I enjoy a paid vacation as much as the next
guy.) Perhaps there are even downstream benefits to be reaped by
society at large for its generous support of the student
population. That said, however, the greatest advantages of such an
education clearly accrue to those who partake of it.

All I’m suggesting is that Joe Grocer or Paula Investment Banker
(who puts in her 70-hour weeks and enjoys a handful or two of paid
vacation days per year) would surely appreciate just a little
gratitude. It is my guess that a pleasant thank you would do
nicely; yet what they are more likely to hear is another chorus of
wails brought on by the scandalous suggestion that fees could be
raised another 100 bucks or so a year. (And I won’t bring up the
paltry taxpayer billions used to finance interest on student
loans.)

I can think of few people who wouldn’t balk at walking up to
their parents and demanding that they foot the entire bill for
their college expenses. Interestingly, however, the student who has
any such hesitation when it comes to protesting that Joe Taxpayer
cough up more dough seems to be the exception rather than the rule
these days.

Perhaps a student could justify his stubborn claims on the
grounds that he incurs, by receiving such subsidies, a later
obligation to return the favor and pay back society by being a
responsible and productive citizen.

Given the uncertainty of such implied obligation, however, and
the fact that no one (to my modest knowledge) has yet furnished a
contract formally binding him to his word, credit given on good
faith could perhaps be limited legitimately to the present $30,000
or so a year.

Next time you need your allowance raised, consider asking daddy
or mommy – they put themselves in for it. That failing, see your
friendly banker. Given his readiness to be of service, time behind
the grill can probably be done by others, who will most likely
cheerfully pass the buck back to you by way of coveted college
subsidies. Not such a bad deal now, is it?

Garstka is a resident recalcitrant and full-time provocateur at
the political science department.Comments to
[email protected]