Kid prostitutes? Thumbs up,

Kid prostitutes? Thumbs up,

Whitey says

‘Dysfunctional’ comedy show tackles politically incorrect
issues

By Michael Horowitz

Daily Bruin Senior Staff

Dan Rosen is the creator of the "Dysfunctional Show" and the man
behind Whitey Fjord, the talk show’s racist, homophobic, sexist,
arch-conservative host. Let’s watch him and two friends try to
support child prostitution.

"Prostitution is for the children," he decides. "It provides
jobs, but not only jobs, jobs where money is not important. It’s a
self-esteem that comes with a self-awareness."

"It’s people sharing," helps out co-star Emily Cutler. "Isn’t it
really people sharing themselves with other people?"

Another co-star, Tim Conlon suggests, "It’s free market."

Rosen concurs, "Yes, Whitey’s for business! Whitey’s for
America, and America’s for business."

No problem. Instantly, a firm core value against prostitution,
used to bludgeon a liberal suggestion on a show a few months ago,
has vanished. Child prostitution, as part of a Newt
Gingrich-suggested orphanage program, is now a good thing. Just one
more 180 degree switch for Whitey.

"The Dysfunctional Show" is Rosen’s Saturday night
improvisational comedy show, a parody of talk shows
everywhere.Every Saturday night, the Hudon Theatre in Hollywood
hosts Rosen’s troupe of comedians as they take a predetermined
topic, say Proposition 187, and debate it with unbelievable
viewpoints. The performers, who have only a night to prepare, must
summon the most extreme rhetoric they can to impress and crack up
the multicultural L.A. audience.

The focus of last Saturday’s show was welfare reform, among the
fictional firebrands in the panel were Jocelyn Elders, Newt
Gingrich’s sister, a Latina welfare mother and a Cajun chef. With
Whitey’s hyperpolitical questioning and the talent of the comedians
involved, the humor of the show is continuously outrageous and
offensive.Yet offensive as it can be, the audience members of all
races, genders, orientations, political leanings, gets it. And they
love it.

A day later Rosen, Cutler and Conlon sit with The Bruin at a
table outside of Johnny Rockets in Beverly Hills. The sudden
showers send other outdoor diners sprinting inside, but due to our
all-weather courage, Rosen’s fearless forecasts ("It’ll stop, see I
told you, it’s stopping"), and the lack of any dry space inside, we
huddle under the umbrella and talk about the show’s methods and
madness.

One of the unique qualities of the "Dysfunctional Show’s" humor
is that if you say a line or two in public you’re asking for
trouble. You’ll get called a racist, sexist, sick homophobic
asshole and that’s if the person manages to laugh. But the point of
the "Dysfunctional Show" is to expose and poke fun at racism in
society. Rosen and friends feel that context makes all the
difference.

"We try in every show to represent all different points of
view," says Cutler. "So you’re seeing (Whitey) against the other
point of view. You’re laughing at him more than with him. As with
Dan in real life, I think …"

"Genius is a word that’s thrown around a lot in this town," says
Conlon. Cutler nods, "I think it’s synonymous with Dan."

"I don’t want to argue with my friends," Rosen responds.

Conlon continues. "Ambidextrous is also thrown around a
lot."

Cutler and Rosen both profess their ambidexterity as well. Then
Rosen denies Cutler’s assertion. "No," he says, "when people say
you swing both ways that doesn’t mean you’re ambidextrous."

But don’t plan on seeing Whitey lose any arguments to invalidate
racism. Rosen has the mike, the camera and if necessary, the
ultimate escape: "If I’m ever backed into a corner on something or
there’s something I don’t want to answer, I just talk about my
daughter being in a coma. Brilliant."

Setting each other up for punchlines is only part of these
comedians’ cooperation. Rosen finds his cast willing to take roles
in the show regardless of a certain role’s limitations. On the
"Dysfunctional Show" performers who had leading roles in the show
of last week often return for just a cameo the next. Rosen has a
theory.

"That’s because they sucked in the huge part the week before,"
he says. "And then the next week they’re lucky to be back at the
show. Or it might be somebody I’m sleeping with."

Among the well-known stars of the show have been Jason
Alexander, Nora Dunn, Josh Charles, Janeane Garafulo, David Cross
and even John Bobbitt himself. Yet while the show itself is growing
in popularity (George Lucas attended a recent show), nothing
surpasses the evergrowing greatness of Whitey in his mind. Although
viewers of the "Dysfunctional Show" will slowly realize Whitey has
terrible time slots, Rosen plays the host as if his popularity is
on the rise. And with the recent Republican triumph, his beliefs
have been validated. "On January 6th, the people spoke," he
declares, choosing a different date than even five minutes ago.

While the theatre show will run for the next few weeks at least,
Rosen is all set to take the screen as well. He scripted the
recently-filmed Cameron Diaz movie The Last Supper, and is busy
writing several scripts for speculation. Conlon however, refuses to
acknowledge Rosen’s film career. Every time The Last Supper enters
conversation his face goes blank.

"My friends don’t know about my work," says Rosen. "That’s the
sad thing."

"Yes, we do," says Cutler. "We just choose not to comment."

"I’m getting slammed in a fucking interview," complains Rosen.
"Jesus!"

Yet his friends are happy to corroborate his TV deal, perhaps
because they’re involved as well. The "Dysfunctional Show" has
signed a development deal and will soon shoot a pilot episode. It
could end up as an announced parody, or maybe just try to
camouflage itself among the daytime talk show powers that be. In
either scenario, Rosen intends to keep his humor razor-sharp and
cerebral as it is now.

"If you aim high, there’s everyone beneath that high mark that
could watch the show," he theorizes. "When you aim low, that’s when
everybody makes the stupid mistake of not watching."

Yet even if the "Dysfunctional Show" attracts viewers, Rosen
predicts other risks. "If Whitey becomes anything on television it
might be very hard for me," he says. "Because it’s hard enough to
separate my racist attitudes from Whitey now. Now I’m so liberal,
way over here, that to do all this stuff …"

"He’s one of the few anti-Semitic Jews I know," offers
Conlon.

"The other thing is that he really respects women," says Cutler.
"That’s one of his great qualities."

"Yeah," agrees Rosen. "Can you get us some coffee?"

As the friends end another interchange, Conlon points out the
obvious problem of this article: "Sarcasm really translates well to
print," he says. "Doesn’t it?"

That’s just another reason you have to go see the performers in
the flesh, before they’re on after Ricki and before Rosen’s film
hits the theaters. Rosen is so anxious to welcome Bruins, he
spontaneously announces a student discount. "Show your ID," he
offers. "Get in half price, five bucks!"

Free if you’re a child prostitute.

COMEDY: "The Dysfunctional Show." Every Saturday night at 10:30,
at least through February. Hudson Theatre, 6539 Santa Monica Blvd.
For more info and reservations call (213) 850-7573.