Tuesday, October 16

Sex before marriage: why we should wait


Jeanene Harlick

I am constantly amazed at the way the act of sex is treated
today. For many, sex is merely a physical activity, something that
provides the same level of exhilaration and rush that comes with a
roller coaster ride at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Obviously, sex is
a physical act, but many people have forgotten that it is also very
much a spiritual activity and not something to be taken lightly.
Sex is not just the joining of two bodies, it is the joining of two
souls.

Sex is the most intimate thing we can do physically with another
person. Two bodies become one in a way no other act can achieve.
After having sex, two people are forever linked, whether they
choose to acknowledge this or not. Sex should not be just a one
night stand, something you can forget about as you look toward the
next one night stand – it is a sacred act. Before two people join
themselves physically through sex, their minds and souls should
also be joined.

How many times have you had sex with a person and regretted it
afterward? You realize that you have done something extremely
intimate with someone with whom you are not interested in pursuing
a relationship, and the relationship immediately becomes awkward.
You try to avoid the other person and you don’t know what to say
when you encounter him or her. Even worse is the case when the
other person took the sexual act seriously when you didn’t. The
other person is left feeling humiliated and hurt, after having
given part of herself or himself to you and receiving nothing in
return.

God did not create sex as just another pleasurable experience we
can resort to whenever we desire it – sex is meant to be an act
which expresses deep mutual love. In this day and age, however,
when it comes to sex, it doesn’t seem to matter any more whether
you even like the person. Sometimes many people could care less
about who they jump into bed with, as long as there is a willing
body. For some, sex is an accomplishment, something they can boast
about to their buddies the next day over beer and pretzels. People
have sex over and over again, until it becomes a meaningless
act.

I believe you should save the act of sexual intercourse for your
future husband or wife. That’s right – no sex before marriage. We
should be virgins on our wedding nights. This is my plan, and I am
going to stick to it. I am a virgin and I’m proud of it. By doing
this, on your wedding night, sex becomes the ultimate symbol of
your love for your spouse. You are bound to this person, and no one
will ever be bound to you in the same way. You will know his or her
body alone, and this will make your union so sweet, so intimate and
so wonderful, because you have not been close to anyone in the same
way. It will be a unique relationship that you have never shared or
will ever share with anybody else.

If you have sex before marriage, once you have it with your
spouse, sex no longer has any special significance. It is just
another physical activity you’ve already performed with other
people, and makes it harder to form a special bond with your
spouse. If you’ve done it with different people in the past, what
is to prevent you from doing so in the future? What’s to prevent
you from moving on to another person like you’ve done before?

But at the same time, sex is the most intimate thing you can do
with another person. So if you can’t express your love for your
spouse in this way, how can you express it? What else can be as
special and such proof of your love as saving your body for your
spouse? I think the answer is nothing. This is why you need to
refrain from sex before marriage, so that you can give yourself
completely, not partially, to your spouse. So you can pledge your
love and commitment to your spouse in a way that no one or nothing
else can.

Jeanene Harlick is a junior English major. Her column will run
on alternate Fridays.

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