Walk tall, despite the sex hair
From scaling fences to slipping down an ivy-covered hill to walking home barefoot – I’ve heard some absurd stories.
Ah, the Walk of Shame.
The nuances of leaving without waking anybody up, the acrobatics of getting out of a building unnoticed, and – let’s be honest here – no one really wants to dwell on a person’s physical appearance during all this. It’s not such a pretty sight.
But what immediately comes to mind when students think of the Walk of Shame?
Jeffrey Chou, a third-year economics student, imagines “a girl with after-sex hair and her clothing all frazzled walking down the street.”
Even the girls I interviewed had similar takes: “A girl walking back in the same clothes the next day from a boy’s place,” said Courtney Dong, a third-year business and economics student.
A question that came to my mind after hearing people’s responses: Why is the Walk of Shame only a walk of shame if a girl is the one doing the walking?
After all, almost everyone has either been there or has a friend who has had a similar experience – going home the next morning after a (usually) alcohol-filled night that resulted in awakening the next morning by someone whom you (vaguely) remember finding attractive the night before.
It happens to the best of us. Yet males have an easier time of it.
“For guys it isn’t a ‘walk of shame;’ it’s a ‘walk of triumph,’” said Chris Yi, a third-year communication studies student.
When did this experience become so merciless?
I once spoke with a guy who told me he and his friends would wake up early to watch girls make the walk of shame and jeer at them from the comfort of their balcony.
We have heard time and again about the double standard that exists with women having to deal with harsher critiques when it comes to sexuality.
A guy can have sex as much as he wants and is considered a male with a normal sexual appetite. A girl in the same situation, on the other hand, is considered a slut.
And before anyone hops on the “I Hate Boys” bandwagon, take note that it is not just men who think this way, but women as well.
Perhaps I have wrongly been under the impression that, as college students who are part of a generation that is considered more mentally and physically free, we have doffed all the archaic beliefs that society programmed us to have.
For all of our desires to be more open-minded, we seem to be thinking the same old things as our parents and grandparents when it comes to sex.
Boys can have sex and be open about it, but girls need to be more demure so people won’t think they’re “loose.”
We may not admit it or even be completely aware of it, but we do make these judgements. Why else would the idea of the Walk of Shame still exist?
A girl’s morality and virtues are being questioned with every awkward, limping step she takes in her heels that just don’t agree with the broken sidewalks of Landfair and Gayley avenues.
Give the poor girl a break, people.
The next time you pass someone on the street who clearly had a fun night but is probably having a somewhat rough morning, just look past her without passing any judgment.
Every once in a while we need to remind ourselves, “You know what? Sometimes sex happens.”
Everyone has different beliefs about sex and none of them are right or wrong. Sex is just a natural part of life.
No matter who you are, you either have been or will be in an equally awkward position.
So just let that girl pass, sans the heckling, so she can continue her walk home.
“A walk of shame isn’t always a walk of shame. Sometimes a girl chooses to walk. Because I know there have been times when ... I’d really rather go it alone,” said Tony Grafton, a graduate student.
There’s no need to slink through the streets and avoid eye contact as you make your way home in the costume you wore to the Dirty Disney party from the night before.
It’s not a walk of shame. You’re merely going from one place to another, just like everyone else.
E-mail Poblador at bpoblador@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.
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