Researchers find that DNA can help determine success of a relationship
By Nicole Arulanantham
Feb. 9, 2011 1:35 a.m.
It’s a scene that can be observed in bars across the country. A man and a woman make eye contact across the room, and when she holds his gaze for just another moment, he works up the courage to come over and say hello. They talk for a while, subtly mimicking each other’s behavior if the conversation is going well.
These are some of the most common habits people exhibit when trying to get to know a potential partner, said Benjamin Karney, UCLA psychology professor. While the methods for starting a relationship vary in countries around the world, there are some traits that are universally attractive, he said.
“Evolution favors people who are markers of good genes,” Karney said. “It would be really helpful to be attracted to those things.”
There is a set of genes in a person’s DNA that correlates to sexual attraction between a woman and her partner, said Andrew Galperin, a doctoral student in social psychology at UCLA. Known as major histocompatibility complex, this DNA determines which pathogens the immune system will be able to fight off.
Women with major histocompatibility DNA similar to their partners’ have been shown to be less sexually attracted to them and less likely to orgasm during sex. This indicates a subconscious desire to reproduce with a partner whose DNA will protect offspring from a wider range of illnesses, Galperin said.
When two people meet and initiate what could become a romantic relationship, subtle behavior clues can indicate if the interaction is going well, Karney said. One such clue is behavioral mimicry, in which one person unconsciously imitates the other. Copied movements can include subconscious habits such as crossing one’s legs or touching one’s face.
Another positive sign is reciprocal disclosure, when one person discloses a personal story and the other validates what is said by offering a similar secret.
“People go deeper and deeper to make each other feel understood and validated and cared for,” Karney said. “Someone who isn’t interested in you won’t reciprocate.”
Once a relationship has been established, there are said to be three factors that can determine its success or failure: personality, communication and context. Justin Lavner, a doctoral student in clinical psychology at UCLA, has done research on the presence of these factors in married couples.
Personality is key to a relationship’s success, but the saying, “opposites attract,” could not be further from the truth, Galperin said. People with similar dispositions are less likely to get into arguments, he said. Psychologists consider factors like self-esteem and dependability to gauge personality compatibility.
Positive communication between partners is also essential, and researchers can test this quality by observing problem-solving discussions that couples are asked to engage in. As expected, people who display more negative traits, such as withdrawing from conversation or denying what their partners are saying, are more likely to suffer a failed relationship, Lavner said.
Finally, researchers look at the context in which a couple lives. According to Lavner, couples that face a lot of stress have more issues to work through. This could help explain why divorce rates are higher in lower-income households.
Researchers hope that by understanding the factors that make relationships fail, they can better help couples work through their problems, Galperin said.
This could help contribute to a lower divorce rate, which was 41 percent for men between the ages of 50 and 59 and 39 percent for women in the same age group in the U.S. as of 2001, according to the New York Times.
“Some things you can’t control (in a relationship), but others you can fix, like communication,” Karney said. “Everyone starts out happy more or less.”
