Single-minded: _Get through the flu with these songs_

Murphy’s Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. For example, if getting sick this week is the worst thing that could happen, you’d better buy yourself some Nyquil.

We’re all stressed about midterms. We’ve only barely figured out where to stuff everything we brought back from winter break, and all of a sudden there are make-it-or-break-it tests on the horizon. When you’re swamped with midterm cramming, sometimes you just have to think, “How can this possibly get any worse?”
Those are famous last words.

Just in time for midterms, the Hill was hit with a wave of stomach flu. Students have been leveled by this bug, forced to rest and recuperate for days while their stress for midterms builds and builds. If you know sick people lying in a dark room while their bodies are in war mode, or you are one of those sick people, here is the ever-relevant “Stomach Flu: The Soundtrack.”

This soundtrack starts at the beginning of the stomach flu’s attack with Cold War Kids’ “Bulldozer,” a song off their album “Mine Is Yours,” which was released on Jan. 25. In the midst of this catchy alternative/pop song, there is one particular line that sums up the feelings of students who have been hit by the stomach flu: “Bulldozer, run right over us.”

For all intents and purposes, this bug may as well be a bulldozer. It completely runs you over. One minute you’re feeling fine, and the next, you feel flattened, just as if you had been hit by a bulldozer.

As you recover, you have to get a lot of sleep. That’s just common sense.

But you also have to eat, even if the thought of eating makes your stomach turn, and you can’t make it to get food on your own. This is where your heroic roommate comes in.

If this were a movie, your roommate would proceed to run in slow motion (very majestically, to your roommate’s credit) to get you food. Every slow-motion scene needs a good song to accompany it. In this case, that song is “Help Is on the Way” by Rise Against. The song was released as a single on Jan. 25 to precede the upcoming release of the band’s new album, “Endgame,” which will be released on March 15.

The song is everything a heroic scene could ask for. Loud electric guitars and drums crash around behind the song’s chorus, in which the line “Help is on the way,” is repeated enthusiastically. It’s the perfect slow-motion action song to do your roommate proud.

Finally, as all these lovely little bugs go, you break free of the stomach flu after a few days. You feel weak, but you definitely dropped any leftover holiday fudge and cookie weight that was hanging on for dear life. It’s time, newly healthy student, for your victory song.

And I have just the quirky, triumphant song for such an occasion: “Lookin’ Good” by Say Hi, off the album titled “Um, Uh Oh,” which was released on Jan. 25. Acoustic guitar and vocals combine to form a light, bouncy song that makes you want to walk with the ultimate spring in your step.

The front man sings happily, “I’ll tell you what, things are looking good, good, good.” And after you have made it through the Fire Swamp (a la “The Princess Bride”) of the stomach flu, you’re probably going to be thinking along those lines as well.

Even massive bouts of sickness can seem a little less awful when you’ve got some good music to see you through. Hopefully, this group of songs will put some humor and adrenaline into your recovery.

In the meantime, though, a couple pieces of advice about sickness: Rest, relax and milk it for all it’s worth.

If you were a victim of the stomach flu and would like to vent about how unfair life is, or if you have suggestions for future column topics, e-mail Bain at [email protected].