Reality Sass: "Jersey Shore" loses its trashy charm

The show that introduced fist-pumping and Snooki into the mainstream mindset has, quite arguably, lost its sense of intoxicating fun.

“Jersey Shore” was a show unaware of its own annoying, yet endearing, charm, with the unabashed self-deprecation and that freshman thrill of seeing embarrassing incidents in the club. Angelina left early on, the Situation’s abs were a fresh anomaly of the human body, and Snooki did those back flips. Since the second season started, the show has become aware of its obnoxiousness and capitalizing on it at every chance possible. Now it’s just intoxicating in the bad way. The way that ends with a whole lot of vomiting of alcohol and cheese fries and lamentations of “Why?”

As the second season of “Jersey Shore” rolled in, I was fist-pumped (bad pun, I know) to see my favorite guidos and guidettes roll into all sorts of orange spray-tan-fueled drama.

I should have known it was doomed from the start. The reintroduction of Angelina, who is commonly known as “Trash Bags” on the Internet because of her use of trash bags in lieu of suitcases, invokes much nausea. Kind of like real-life trash bags. Angelina has not only raised the ire of her fellow roommates but also raised the blood pressures of the viewers, who have to watch her prevaricating antics combined with her love of Fossil watches.

Aside from the presence of Angelina, the show has lost its luster and any semblance of class (not that it really had any to begin with, but just saying), with the central plot of the Sammi-Ronnie relationship. This couple. Sure it has initiated a sandwich-and-plate-throwing fight between Sammi and JWoww, but other than that, it has contributed nothing but spray-cheese filler for the show. How many times does Ronnie have to grind with multiple women for Sammi to finally stop saying, “I’m done?”

Even with the focus drifting away from Sammi and Ronnie in the last episode, “Jersey Shore” was at best a plate of lukewarm cheese fries. With the focus drifting to Vinnie’s giddiness over procuring a date with a girl, and the eventual ditching of the date by the girl, the drama was stale. The highlight of the last episode did not even come from the housemates themselves but the guest star, Vinny’s Uncle Nino, whose slurring incoherence sounded like a harp of relief for the show.

What will make “Jersey Shore” better? Two words: Pauly D. The most mellow bug-eyed resident of them all should be able to reverse this sturm and drang into something a little more light and playful. It makes sense that Pauly D will be getting his own spin-off show, away from the more obnoxious crazies in the house, which would be enjoyable, what with Pauly D’s Bieber hairstyle and commentary on the latest instances of casual intimacy in the house. I can only take so much more of Ronnie-induced crying and fighting.

How much more “Jersey Shore” can you take? Because I’m about to throw a plate of sandwiches at someone if this show doesn’t get any better.

Check in Tuesday for the next installment of Teresa Jue’s “Reality Sass.”