Screen scene: “Sex and the City: The Movie”

The Female Review

Since I cannot represent every woman in reviewing this film, I will summon my inner Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha to give their opinions. After all, it is their movie.

As the writer of the group, Carrie would be disappointed in the film’s poor writing. She would wonder why they had to reuse gimmicks like terminology substitutions for “sex” in front of children (“sushi” in the series, “coloring” in the film), and she’d be even more aghast at the repeated lines (Samantha: “I love you, but I love me more”). Then she’d mourn the absence of Carrie’s column in the film. Sure she writes books now and receives monstrous advances so she can support her fabulous wardrobe, but the column was the keystone of the show.

However, she might forgive herself for selling her soul to the book publishing industry because the fashion she affords is irresistible. Every label you can think of shows up, even the non-couture ones donned by the charming addition of Jennifer Hudson as Louise, Carrie’s bright-eyed assistant. The film has something for the fashionista in every woman.

Miranda would probably say she hated the film and secretly really like it. She’d complain about how long the film was, over two hours, constantly calling attention to the fact that she has a job and a child at home.

However, she’s only at her job in the movie for approximately two seconds as a part of a montage. The overarching theme of forgiveness would disturb her cynical side, but she’d relish in the moments where the film pokes fun at the series, such as when Samantha calls attention to Carrie’s puns.

Charlotte, on the other hand, would love the themes of forgiveness and friendship. She wouldn’t want to critique the film, but there is one part that would drive even the pure-hearted Charlotte to criticism.

When the foursome takes a vacation to Mexico, Charlotte refuses to eat anything but the chocolate pudding packs she has brought with her because she’s scared of the food and water there. (Even though they are at a five-star resort.) However, Charlotte accidentally opens her mouth while in the shower, and because she swallowed an inconsequential amount of water, she proceeds to experience a disturbingly audible bowel movement in her pants. This testosterone-infused humor taints an otherwise female-centered film.

Samantha’s main complaint about the film would be the lack of sex, especially for her. She’d ask the questions: Isn’t this called “Sex and the City?” Didn’t a man write this movie? And then she’d look at the film’s limited sex scenes and probably turn to her new, and less-amusing, vice: food. She’d also wonder how her character could ever move to Los Angeles for a man and then stay with that man for four years. She’d call it a cheap ploy for getting Jason Lewis (Samantha’s boyfriend Smith Jared) in the movie and then be disappointed that he’s never even naked.

However, as the reigning feminist, Samantha would ultimately praise the way the movie handles sensitive issues for women, such as appearance, aging, marriage and single life past the age of 40. At one point in the movie, Carrie says “you two could rule the world” to Samantha and Miranda, and for Samantha the most important world to control is her own.

Despite the many different ways to watch this movie, for fans it is an all-around satisfying experience. It’s far from a piece of cinematic genius, but at the end of the day the film feels like a visit from old friends. Every actor executes his or her lines, even the poorly written ones, as if this is what they have been waiting four years to do.

Those unfamiliar with the show may not understand. But those of us who think of the series every time someone orders a cosmo would sit through another three-hour movie, just because we missed these people.

The Male Review

At the end of “Sex and the City,” the credits started rolling and the crowd burst into applause, but I sat there wondering what the “average guy” would think of this movie. How can an early 20-something male UCLA student relate with the trials and tribulations of Carrie Bradshaw and company, people who are of the opposite gender and twice his age?

Sure, there was a lot of nudity. Guys love nudity, and there was plenty of it to go around. There was even a poop joke, yet another classic guy film shtick.

But the premise of the entire show and film is about how women interact with men and each other and, of course, fashion. And average guys don’t typically care about the plight of single New Yorkers or of Manolo Blahniks and Vivienne Westwood.

There is not enough space to provide an adequate disclaimer about the dangers of generalizing movies based on sex and/or gender, but there are some men that appreciate the appeal of “Sex and the City”: It’s a witty and contemporary look at the intricacies of romance and being single.

There might even be some dudes that own all six seasons on DVD and have seen all 94 episodes. (Target might have had them on all sale.) If you like the show, you’ll like the movie. But if you like the show, you probably aren’t the “average guy.”

And I’m probably not the “average guy.” I’ve seen an episode or two, and with an understanding of the characters and plot, I was pleased that the integrity of the show was maintained and the nature of the series translated well onto the big screen.

There’s enough universally accessible material in the film for someone unfamiliar with the show and its characters to make the movie tolerable. For the typical guy, the writing, while a bit uneven, has enough laugh-out-loud moments that don’t require any knowledge of the television show to enjoy.

Kim Cattrall, who plays the sex enthusiast Samantha Jones, stands out as the funniest of the four, with hilarious one-liners that are delivered with an authentic sense of personality.

Sarah Jessica Parker, who plays the famed protagonist Carrie Bradshaw, surprisingly conveys a convincing depiction of her character, who is older, wiser and with thankfully less emotional baggage than before.

This movie does not really attempt to appeal to the average guy: It’s about women, shoes and being 40, but those males who are dragged against their will still be able to appreciate it on different merits.

Or, if you really find yourself bored, try to spot all the product placements throughout the movie. The time will fly right by.