Escorts shouldn’t be shunned

Are you a good-looking female searching for a job where you can
be paid $2,000 per day just for being a concierge? You get to meet
“affluent sports, entertainment, technology and Fortune 500
CEO clients” in a “highly discreet” environment.
Sound attractive? Honestly, at first glance I personally thought,
“Not bad.” I mean, apart from the obvious sexual
nuances present, these girls can make $10,000 a week merely as
escorts.

This was just one of the rather interesting personals I found in
LA Weekly. Some of the other bizarre “classiFINDs,” as
the publication puts it, include “Be caressed by the tiny
hands of a gorgeous Asian chick” and “Be discreet to
smell my feet … .” I’m sure your imagination can fill
in the rest.

But how many people actually respond to these classifieds and
personals? Since I didn’t know of any, I decided to try it
out, just as an “experiment.” I called one of the
numbers for an escort. All I can say is that the guy who picked up
could sweet talk like he had been doing it his entire life. I mean,
he was suave, comforting and, honestly, he made you feel privileged
to even be applying. After getting over the initial barrage of
“honeys” and “sweeties,” he got to the
point.

What exactly does working as an escort entail?

According to the guy, it’s all about doing
“shows,” as people “in the business” put
it. Shows are basically get-togethers you have with the client,
either at your place or his. In-calls are when he comes to you;
most girls either work out of their apartments or out of hotel
rooms. Out-calls are when you go to his hotel room. The legal
loophole these businesses use is the fact that what you do in these
shows all depends on you.

The “more” you do, the more tips you get. The place
I called had a policy where you had a fixed salary and got tips on
top of that. You get to keep 100 percent of your tips. The
salaries, on the other hand, differ from girl to girl ““ some
girls obviously bring in more than others, so they get paid
differently.

Being the naive idiot that I sometimes can be, I decided to ask
what exactly is required from these girls to get these tips. (This
is where I got the idea that this guy had dealt with many
18-year-olds in the past.) He was just like, oh, don’t worry
honey, we have an orientation before you meet the first client. You
have a whole hour and a half to learn how to be “safe”
while getting tips, how to get more tips, basically the whole
gamut.

Your work hours can be as flexible as you want. Most girls, it
seems, work six days a week and take Sundays off. Apparently, a lot
of college girls work for him, because there is so much time to get
homework done as well ““ “Girls love me! If you work for
me, you’re getting all As!” Your job would basically be
your study break. (Talk about blowing off some steam.)

The next thing I wondered was: Who would be my clients? (This is
seriously hilarious.) He said that the company doesn’t take
black people, Indians and Mexicans who cannot speak a work of
English. “So, honey, you’d be dealing with the
upper-class white guy.” And he meant “Indians” as
in people from India, not Native Americans. He never really
clarified whether Native Americans were viable clients or not. (I
guess I should’ve told him that I was part Indian from the
very beginning. When I re-read the ad, it did say that only blondes
and Asians need apply.)

Eventually I did ask him if I could talk to one of the other
college-going girls who were employed by his company. He refused to
even let them call me, as his business was known for being highly
discreet, which, he said, is why he has so many models and porn
stars working for him.

Our conversation ended on a slightly inspirational note: He made
it clear that you had to highly motivated and outgoing to succeed
in this business. Moreover, you had to be an
“open-minded” girl “hungry” for money, and
he emphasized this point with his “rags-to-riches
stories” ““ tales of girls who had barely 10 cents in
the beginning and are now driving a Mercedes. His last words were
rather unnerving: “Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one
wants to die.”

The whole conversation really did make me think. What started
off as a silly, bordering on stupid, idea for a column actually
made me realize what it takes to succeed in a business where the
sole criterion is your image. It’s definitely not easy, not
to mention the social stigma that comes along with the job.

On the other hand, you have to understand the psychological
ramifications. I’m not saying these girls are sex fiends
““ I’m sure they’re far from that ““ but at
the same time, does having a job like this devalue sex in a real
relationship? I mean, if you’re doing it on a daily basis,
does sex just become habitual, another part of your day? Do
emotions play a role anymore, or does it all get generalized into
“getting ass”?

I personally feel that if you think you’re going to be
successful, and your parents don’t have a problem with it, go
for it. I know that people (and so have I, at times) make comments
like, “Do these girls have no self-respect? Why are they so
trashy?” but I guess they have to realize that it is just a
job.

I honestly don’t think that we have any right to pass
judgment on these girls just based on their jobs. Like the guy
said, everyone wants a piece of heaven, but no one wants to
die.

If you’ve ever answered a classified and followed
through, e-mail Saxena at [email protected] about your
experiences.