Speaking from experience

Thursday, January 23, 1997

Nearly one out of seven college women is raped over her college
career. One had the courage to speak out.By Ryan Ozimek

Daily Bruin Staff

Things should have been a lot different for Katie Koestner.

She should have gone through college with the life of an average
student and now be well on her way to pursuing a long-sought law
degree.

She should have had a university life without taunting from her
fellow classmates at William and Mary University, the occasional
egging of her dormitory window, and threats against her life.

Instead, after only four weeks in college, a fellow student she
met during summer orientation raped her in her own dormitory
room.

And Koestner lost the chance to begin a new stage in her life
with a clean slate, something most first-year college students take
for granted.

Like most first-year students, Koestner went to a summer
orientation to meet new people and learn about university life.

During the orientation, she met a guy she described as a "GQ
man." When the school year started, the two kept in touch, and at
first, things seemed to be going well. After studying for tests
with her new interest for a couple of days, he finally asked her
out on a date.

Things seemed to be going great, but slowly they began to take a
turn for the worse.

One night, the two met in her dormitory room just to hang out.
Talking turned into dancing, dancing turned into kissing, which
then turned into rape.

Her arms above her head, the weight of his body holding her legs
and body pinned to the floor, his kissing physically stopping her
from speaking, he forced himself on her.

"What are you doing?" she gasped as she started to cry, and he
stopped.

Five hours later, he was asleep in her room and she finally
began dozing off. When he awoke, he took advantage of her
vulnerable state and raped her.

She didn’t scream, but she bit a chunk of her skin out from the
inside of her mouth. She didn’t kick or fight, but she held her
legs together, hoping the traumatic incident would soon end.

When he was finished, he walked toward the door, turned around,
said "thank you," and walked out.

Since then, her life has changed dramatically. Fighting barriers
including unknowledgeable nurses, a dean of students unwilling to
face controversy, and a lack of support from her parents, Koestner
has become an outspoken date-rape survivor.

Every 24 hours there is a rape somewhere across America’s
college campuses, according to a 1990 study of rape funded by a
grant from the National Center for the Prevention and Control of
Rape. The study also found that one in seven college women have
been raped.

It is statistics like this that have compelled Koestner to share
her story. In the past four years, she has spoken throughout the
United States, making various media appearances on television shows
such as "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "Larry King Live," and was also
featured on the cover of "Time" magazine.

Speaking before a crowd of about 1,000 mostly fraternity and
sorority students in Ackerman Grand Ballroom Tuesday night,
Koestner recounted her experience in a speech sponsored by the
Interfraternity and Panhellenic Councils in conjunction with the
Women’s Resource Center and Rape Treatment Center.

Although she acknowledged that many students have already heard
speeches featuring information about rape in the past, she stressed
that they still may not know the facts.

"I think most college students are informed, but do they know
exactly what is rape and what isn’t (according to state laws)?"
Koestner asked. "I don’t think so."

Hoping to educate students with her story, Koestner believes
increased communication, responsibility and respect could decrease
the number of rapes on college campuses.

During her speech, Koestner gave advice to those who may have
been raped or may know someone who has been raped.

"Rather than being worried about hurting someone’s feelings, you
need to get out of the situation," Koestner said.

If confronted with such a situation, a friend should encourage
the victim to get medical attention immediately, file a police
report and especially encourage them to take a stand, Koestner
said.

"If (the victim) keeps it a secret, it will turn into a wound
that never heals," she said.

Diane Suggs, assistant director of the Women’s Resource Center,
agreed with Koestner, pointing out that the number of people that
come in to seek services regarding rape have stayed pretty much
level over the past few years.

"Unfortunately, many people don’t come forward ­ that’s why
it’s so important for their friends or boyfriend to support them
when they disclose (their rapes)," Suggs said.

And the numbers appear to support Suggs. Less than 5 percent of
all college women report incidences of rape to the police, the
study of rape found.

The number of reports of rape that reach university police are
under 10 annually, according to Suggs, and that number only
includes rapes reported to the police on campus property.

While very few rapes are reported to the university police,
Suggs said that the Women’s Resource Center councils 50 to 70
students each year regarding a rape incident, but that number also
includes rapes from previous years.

Throughout her speech, Koestner hoped to inspire students to
speak up about individual cases they may have had and to learn more
about how to deal with being in a situation dealing with rape.

"Yes," she said, "it’s important to support each other as women,
but it’s also important to stand up for yourselves as individuals,"
Koestner said.

Although it seems that by police reports, the number of rapes
have stayed level, Koestner has found that rape education has come
a long way.

"When I talk to younger high school students, they seemed more
aware of date rape than I did when I was in high school," Koestner
said.

"The overall attitude and awareness about date rapes have
increased over the past few years," she added.

From the reaction of students attending the speech, it seemed as
though she successfully increased the attendees’ knowledge of the
affects and consequences of rape.

"I was really affected by (her speech) and I think it was
received very well by the students," said Panhellenic Council
President Whitney Jones, a fourth-year political science and
sociology student. "Although people may question her actions, it
really makes people think about the subject."

Others in attendance agreed with Jones.

"I was impressed by her candidness about such a personal
experience with so many people," said Andrew Saxon, a first-year
psychobiology student.

Although Koestner did believe that she has made a difference in
educating people across the country, she said her tiring days of
cross-country speeches and media interviews will soon be coming to
an end.

"I’m probably going to be giving speeches for only about a year
or two more," Koestner said.

Within the next four weeks, the Women’s Resource Center will be
sending representatives to sorority and fraternity houses to
follow-up with in-depth, small group talks regarding rape
issues.

SHAWN LAKSMI

Katie Koestner was a college freshman when she was date raped.
Since then, she has become an outspoken date rape survivor. She
recounted her experiences to 1,000 mostly sorority and fraternity
students in Ackerman Grand Ballroom Tuesday night.