Yo fair-weather fans: UCLA will win Rose Bowl

It was close to 1 p.m. Monday. It was only the third day of
school, but I was already violating the go-to-every-class-on-time
resolution I had made to myself just four days ago.

By then, the frantic pace in which I sailed down the San Diego
freeway had slowed to a canter up Bruin Walk. "What’s the point of
running or even walking briskly? I’m already late," I thought.

After I successfully dodged the campus groups laying down their
barrage of fliers, I came to a comfortable walking pace a few steps
behind a pair of students. One was wearing a UCLA football T-shirt
commemorating the1994 Rose Bowl berth, and the other had on a
plain-white shirt.

For some reason that was beyond my realm of comprehension, I had
fixed my eyes upon the football T-shirt, reliving the glory of the
New Year’s Day football game. I recalled the excitement in the
nose-bleed seats of the L.A. Coliseum when ex-Bruin Marvin Goodwin
made the game-saving interception against USC to earn the bowl
berth. This image brought a smile to my face, and allowed me to
feel a certain bond with the student walking in front of me. I
didn’t know his name, nor even what he looked like, but what the
heck, he was a UCLA football fan.

However, it was in this very setting that my faith as a die-hard
UCLA fan would be shaken after engaging in the the innocent act of
eavesdropping on a conversation. I warn you, the details are ugly.
But nonetheless, they must be revealed for the good of the
campus.

"Did you see the UCLA-Michigan game last Saturday?" the student
wearing the Rose Bowl shirt asked the other.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Dude, we really suck."

"Oh, yeah. We’d be lucky to finish with a winning record."

My instincts told me to get the guys in headlocks and administer
noogies on them. My calm, collected side, however, allowed me to
continue my trek toward class without a word. The two students had
veered toward the direction of their destination, but the painful
words they uttered could not be forgotten.

I tried my best to give the two students the benefit of the
doubt, but I couldn’t help myself from seeing them as free riders
on the Bruin bandwagon. Man, those people really chap my hide. They
can hop on and hop off anytime they want, while the die-hard fans
bear the brunt of supporting the team through the lean years.

When the Bruins made it to the Rose Bowl in 1994, they hopped on
the bandwagon. Three weeks before the big game, they lined up to
buy the student-section tickets for $50. But as soon as they
realized that they could sell the tickets for $200 to accommodate
the thousands of eager Wisconsin fans arriving in a massive caravan
of Winnebagos, they quickly sold those tickets.

The result was an embarrassment to UCLA football fans as the
Bruin student section turned mostly red with Badger fans, making
the Rose Bowl anything but a friendly confine for UCLA. The free
riders, who find monetary gains more important than supporting the
team, are the evil that must be blamed for that debacle.

As the UCLA football team enters Pacific 10 conference play this
weekend, there must be an eradication of the cancer that is the
free riders. The door on the bandwagon must be shut so that no
wishy-washy fans can hop on in the middle of the season when the
Bruins will invariably start winning. The heinous situation of 1994
must be averted because this is the year the Bruins make it back to
the Rose Bowl.

Yes, you read it right. UCLA will be playing on New Year’s Day
in Pasadena, and ABC commentator Keith Jackson will be saying "oh,
Nellie," when the Bruins come out victorious over their Big Ten
opponent. It doesn’t matter who that opponents turns out to be
­ Michigan, Ohio State or Penn State ­ bring them on
baby!

At this very moment, you might bring up the fact that our
football team was administered a whipping by the Wolverines last
Saturday. It is also a fact that we did not look very good in that
game. Our receivers dropped passes, Skip Hicks couldn’t get going,
Cade McNown made some bad throws and so on.

But if you were a true fan of the program, someone who stands by
the team through thick and thin, you would join me in making such
an irrational prediction. You would contend that we are capable of
beating USC for the sixth-straight year and capable of overcoming
Jake the Snake Plummer in Tempe, not to mention the Gang Green in
Eugene.

You might think I’m crazy, but if the Bruins make it to the Rose
Bowl next January, at least I won’t be accused of being a free
rider.