Accepting a mother’s refusal to learn to speak English

Monday, May 20, 1996

Nonnative speakers are treated with arrogance, disdainBy
Jung-Eun Son

"I would rather die than try to learn how to speak English!"
were my mother’s words when I challenged her with angry
frustrations about her unwillingness to learn the language despite
her plans to live in the States for the rest of her life.

I have been telling her that she should learn because she will
be able to do so many more great things by speaking and
understanding English. I never understood why my mother is so
reluctant to learn English until she exclaimed those words. Her
statement made me question the reason behind such obstinate
reluctance.

When I was 10 years old, I remember being dragged by my mother
to the L.A. County Housing Office because she needed me to
translate her pleas to keep the rental fees from increasing. My
mother’s plea, which was conveyed through me, was met with extreme
rudeness by this middle-aged blue-eyed lady at the county office.
My young innocent eyes froze as they met her cold stares. With her
hateful eyes, she asked us to get out of her sight. What a
humiliating experience!

When my mother called me one morning last week to ask me to call
my brother’s elementary school and let his teacher know that he
would not be able to come to school that day due to food poisoning,
I was reminded of the experience 13years ago.

I used to blame my mother for putting me through such a
traumatic experience with that bitchy lady. My mother’s inability
to learn English impacted in the shaping of my attitude toward her.
I repeatedly challenged her unwillingness to learn English. Each
time I confronted her with the issue, my gentle voice automatically
changed to a tone that was shockingly condescending.

But now I can fully understand why my mother does not want to
learn to speak English. English, when heard but not listened to,
creates sounds so soft, yet powerful. It sounds sophisticated; it
sounds like a beautiful melody. But when the spirit behind the
language is unveiled by the people that speak it, English becomes
an ugly language. It proves to be a tongue so vicious, it simply
lacks compassion but is full of conceit. When a nonnative person
speaks English with a slight accent, it seems as though the people
that listen to him or her simply turn off their brain. A nonnative
speaker is often asked over and over what he or she has just
said.

Eavesdropping on a telephone conversation of one of my
relatives, I noticed that he was made to sound like a broken record
as he was forced to repeat his sentences over and over. As his
sentences were repeated over and over, his words were stripped of
the dignity of their meaning. Even the sincerity in his voice did
not matter. What he said over the phone was plainly rejected.

Even at academic institutions like UCLA, it is not unusual for
students to gang up on professors whose English is not their first
language. Again, it appears that many of us simply shut our brain
down when we come to classes taught by professors whose English is
not their first language.

I can never forget a brutal confrontation of a professor whose
native language is Korean by students. As he pronounced "Solomon
design" with a little touch of a Korean accent, there was a
collective "upsurge" of students in the lecture hall, with the
combined voices so abrupt, almost violent, challenging him to
repeat the word again. "What?! What did you say?" I know clearly
that he was contested not because the students could not understand
what he had just said, but because they wanted to ridicule the
"irregularity" of his pronunciation.

Of course, people should learn English if they plan to spend the
rest of their lives in this country. This sounds like a rational
statement, as it is often made by those that speak English.
Language is power. Language allows a foreign born, an immigrant, to
enter into a community. But one has to note that when English
speakers are abroad, they also expect natives in a particular
country to speak English.

When I was at a fast food restaurant in Venezuela, I remember
this blonde lady who ordered an arepa with beans. She simply said
in flat out English with hateful frustration "I want beans!" How
can she expect the waiter to understand her when he only speaks
Spanish? Do English speakers think that they own this world?

English speakers tend to slow down the speed and amplify the
volume as they try to communicate in their own language. English
speakers are easily distinguished from others because although some
of their eyes are beautifully lavished with colors of the ocean and
the sky, they are often polluted with pride and at times, hatred.
The voices are ridden with impatience. The lady’s act at the
restaurant was so hideously disgusting that it took away my
appetite. Such attitude often keeps English speakers from
respecting cultures of other countries. Arrogance truly keeps them
from seeing the beauty of this world; they are missing out. It is
truly sad.

In many ways, I believe that it is wise of my mother to refuse
to learn English. Because her tongue is so ingrained in the ways of
her native language, she will never be able to speak like a native
English speaker. If she did learn how to speak English and tried to
communicate with native speakers, she would be met by ugly
condescension to further complicate her life and endanger her
health. Even if she did try to learn it, her strong accent would be
despised, and all the things that she has to say from her wisdom
would be disregarded. Hearing the soft and beautiful sounds of
English is much more preferable to listening and tasting its ugly
arrogance as it is revealed by its speakers.

I believe that English is one of the most difficult languages to
learn because of its underlying psychology, which is marked by
filthy imperialistic contempt. Learning a new language is not just
merely adapting a tool of communication, but it is adapting to a
whole different set of thinking. People whose native language is
not English would not want to learn it unless the people that speak
English learn humility by cleansing their arrogance.

As I recognize my own vicious arrogance and try to cleanse it, I
hope to encourage my mother to learn English. I still believe that
learning the language will bring many more colors to her life.

Son is a fourth-year student double majoring in East Asian
studies and development studies.

When a nonnative person speaks English with a slight accent, it
seems as though the people (listening) simply turn off their
brain.