Mentoring program helps ease transition

Tuesday, May 14, 1996

Group aims to give guiding hand to gay, bisexual studentsBy John
Digrado

Daily Bruin Staff

Aiming to ease the often painful process of "coming out," the
new Mentor Program for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Students offers
students coming to terms with their sexual orientation a way to
safely get in contact with their community.

"Coming out can be a really scary and lonely experience," said
mentor and graduate music student Chris Rhodes. "And even if you
have a strong support group of friends, most of those friends are
straight and can’t show you resources within your own community,"
he said.

The mentor program provides "a link between when someone first
comes out to when they’re ready to be on their own," Rhodes
added.

In addition, organizers said the group provides support for gays
and bisexuals who usually lack a forum to discuss issues pertaining
to their community.

"For a lot of folks who belong to minority groups, they have a
built in support system to discuss those issues," said Valerie
Dionne, a social work intern with the group. "But for the gay or
bisexual student, that may not be the case, and they wouldn’t be
able to bring that issue to their support group.

"In a lot of ways, (the support group is) a bit of a safety net,
and it’s a first step to getting the student hooked up with a
support system and the community at large," Dionne added.

Mentors and students meet once a week for about an hour to
discuss issues of homo- or bisexuality and the myriad of ways to
get in contact with members of the same community, described mentor
program director Patricia Keating of Student Psychological
Services.

"If a person woke up unexpectedly in a foreign country, not
knowing the customs, the language (or) how to get around, it would
be very confusing, and this is what it’s like for people coming
out," she said.

Keating noted the difficulty and importance of guiding students
through the coming out process. She explained that considering
one-third of all adolescent suicides are by closeted gay, lesbian
or bisexual young adults, such a program could save lives by easing
that process.

"It’s such a different situation than for other sorts of
students because a lot of times, particularly during the college
years, that’s when coming out is taking place and it’s an extremely
confusing and alienating process," Keating said.

"I think the degree of homophobia in our world makes it so
difficult for people to accept themselves for who they are and to
find people to turn to for help."

The mentoring program provides gay, lesbian or bisexual students
someone to turn to, who can "show them the ropes" around Los
Angeles’ sometimes dangerous and often bewildering homo- and
bisexual communities, organizers said.

Claiming that young adults who are learning their way around
their particular community are often "preyed upon" by older, more
experienced members, Rhodes said that the mentoring program is a
safe way to learn their way around town.

"It’s a way to get in touch with the gay/lesbian/bisexual
community without going to the bars," he said. "This is a place
where they can go where the focus isn’t on drinking or sex."

Keating and Dionne noted that many students coming in for
therapy, due to their sexual orientation, need encouragement to
take the first step in becoming part of their community.

"One of the things we see a lot in our practice is that students
come to treatment and they are very, very afraid," Dionne said,
adding that students often only need a bit of help in actually
going to gay- and bisexual-identified establishments. "That first
step is so difficult. And while we may recommend (getting involved
in the social scene), getting them to do it is another thing."

Through the mentor program, "they have someone who could
actually go with them, and is something that we as therapists
cannot actually do," she said.