To lie or not to lie: Honesty is best policy

Monday, April 15, 1996

Some fibs benefit others, but Lilliputians teach lesson of
societal responsibility

Those who never lie or cheat can stop reading. Most likely, we
all lie in some way or another. Completely honest individuals tell
the truth at all times … even when it causes discomfort. Honest
people speak up when their silence could mislead others. They tell
the grocery store checker about his mistake when the error is in
their favor.

Yet, even extremely honest people might lie for the purpose of
convenience ­ to simplify or speed up conversations. How often
do you tell people, "I’m fine" when you’re actually not doing so
well? Is anyone completely honest?

Dishonesty comes in varying complexities. Obvious forms of
dishonesty include perjury and intentional deception. Some people
make up stories for shock value. Some lie to hide shameful or
embarrassing secrets. They are afraid of what others will think,
and the lies become so internalized that it’s difficult to stop
lying. Yet, blatant fabrication is detrimental to others, society
and oneself.

Other forms of dishonesty are more subtle because they don’t
involve outright lies ­ but they still involve harmful
deception:

­ "I didn’t tell the checker he gave me extra change
because it makes up for those high prices" or "because I didn’t
want to cause a commotion and hold up the line." But didn’t you
hold up the line last week when you were shortchanged or
overcharged? Let’s face it: Selective honesty has its benefits.

However, is that falsely acquired $2 really a benefit? In
retrospect, is a guilty conscience worth $2? Is a guilty conscience
even worth that $500 you fudged when you did your taxes? Perhaps
some of us don’t pay attention to our consciences, so guilt is not
an issue.

­ "I have to cheat because this class is graded on a curve,
and I know at least 10 people who have seen the exam." If you had
the opportunity to view an exam before it is proctored, would you?
Even though you may feel a twinge of guilt, would you cast aside
honesty and join your cheating classmates? Does academic survival
justify dishonesty?

Further, if you decided not to cheat, would you tell the
professor about the others? Should we go out of the way to snitch
on dishonest individuals? Maybe not. The point is to be responsible
for your own honesty and to encourage others to follow your example
­ not to act as some kind of honesty police officer on a
mission.

­ "I knew the accident was my fault, but I wasn’t going to
admit it. You’re supposed to let the insurance companies work it
out." Here, dishonesty does include the withholding of truth
because you are personally responsible.

These cases of subtle dishonesty weigh the truth-telling process
against its outcome. Whether or not to lie or cheat becomes a
question of how it will benefit us: We gain $2 or an A grade.

As dishonesty’s boundaries become blurred, we assign value to
honesty based on its outcome instead of its intrinsic worth. If the
outcome of telling the truth is negative for us, we justify a lie:
"It won’t hurt anyone." "If I tell the truth, I’m in trouble." We
want to protect ourselves from the negative consequences of
speaking truth, such as punishment. But the ultimate goal should be
to uphold honesty, whether the result suits our fancy, or not.

However, when it involves the feelings of others, honesty can be
a brutal choice. In these cases, unlike in those of personal
benefit or pain, the outcome can be taken into consideration when
you decide to "break the truth." How do you tell your friend that
you don’t like her new haircut when she asks you? Sometimes there
are ways to soften the truth, to deliver it gently and still avoid
a lie.

Parents find themselves in this predicament when they want to
encourage their children in a particular endeavor. It would be
cruel to tell your child he was a disaster in the school play. You
might scar him for life and shatter his dream. Parents recognize
potential when they "lie" to their children, and this kind of lie
is not considered deception. Parents have a nurturing role to
fulfill, and a little positive dishonesty will not harm their kids,
but rather build self-confidence.

So, there are exceptions to the famous maxim ("Honesty is the
best policy"). However, selfish dishonesty is harmful to society.
Instances of dishonesty are so pervasive we lose a clear
understanding of what constitutes a lie. We change its name to
white lie, fib or half-truth. In addition, because lies are second
nature to most people, the concept of conscience loses its effect,
and we fail to clearly discern our own dishonesty. We rationalize
untruths with all sorts of "good reasons."

And the problem with all of this is that when deceit exists on
so many planes, and when we, ourselves, partake in it, we question
whether or not we can trust others. Trust builds personal,
political, casual, business and family relationships. Society’s
lenient attitude toward dishonesty ultimately breaks down trust.
Dishonesty is so commonplace, it is accepted as a normal part of
life.

In a perfect world, we would be certain that people were telling
us the truth. Doubt would not exist. Lilliput, in Jonathan Swift’s
Gulliver’s Travels, comes close to such a world.

The people of Lilliput, Gulliver relates, "look upon fraud as a
greater crime than theft … for they allege that care and
vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s
goods from thieves; but honesty hath no fence against superior
cunning."

Lilliputians see fraud, a form of dishonesty, as a far worse
transgression against fellow humans than theft, because those who
trust are completely vulnerable. They have no way of securing
themselves against deceit. To paraphrase Swift, trusting
individuals expect that others use language to serve its purpose as
a means of communication. Lying defeats language in that it hinders
understanding.

Thus, honesty is immensely crucial in maintaining trust and
communication. Society needs role models to set standards of
behavior. Role models are people who remind us to practice honesty,
people who aren’t afraid to speak up and challenge those who would
lie or cheat, people who refuse to sneak into movie theaters ­
at the risk of exclusion from their friends. We can look for role
models in the people we trust. Better yet, we can look to be role
models ourselves.

Rich is a third-year English/American studies student and
assistant viewpoint editor at the Daily Bruin. Her column runs on
alternate Mondays.