Tuesday, December 10

A dirty mind is a hard thing to waste

A dirty mind is a hard thing to waste

Men’s lusty thoughts are

part of their carnal self

By Chieh Li Chieng

Daily Bruin Columnist

In the wild, oft-dangerous realm of nature, male caribou
sometimes engage each other in dangerous displays of combat in
order to win the privilege of courting the females of the species,
while female insects discharge chemical pheromones to which hapless
male insects find themselves irresistibly drawn.

Yet, any individual with the most fundamental and elementary
concept of humanity realizes that when it comes to relations with
females, males often appear to submit to a more powerful influence
than themselves.

At the same time, one cannot simply characterize the
relationship between men and women, on the whole, simply as "women
are opportunistic, and men are stupid," as a friend of mine would
have it.

Femme fatale fantasies of homicidally hazardous females, a la
Sharon Stone or Linda Fiorentino, and macho, yet clueless, male
heroes, merely represent the bland imagination of a writer of
questionable talent.

In the "real world" (and I don’t mean that hip fantasy of
unemployed young artists, punk rockers and daydreaming, lazy-ass
slackers which MTV serves up), there remains one certain,
undeniable element of human maleness which continually dominates
male behavior and thought, and consequently, male/female
relationships – lust.

Lust, despite attempts to assert the contrary, fuels the drive
and motivation behind the mind of many a male, whether on a
subconscious or conscious level, and with varying degrees of

The seeds of prurient thought and behavior plant themselves
early in a boy’s youth, and germinate to ever-increasing power with
the onset of age, puberty, and eventually, adulthood.

One can easily see the results in the world around us. For
instance, you need look no further than the newspaper in your hands
to find that recurring porno video store ad floating around
somewhere. Or better yet, contemplate why it is that full frontal
male nudity in a porno film is considered hard-core, whereas full
frontal female nudity is considered soft-core – not that I’ve had
plenty of experiences with porno flicks, mind you.

The opposition to my views might argue that not all men are
ensnared by lustful emotion, that elsewhere in remote parts of this
planet live males who enjoy a life full of the utmost pure and holy
thoughts. Well, perhaps.

But I’ll wager anything that even the most sequestered monks
enjoy an erection once in a while, because by nature, men are
sexually carnal beings; and besides which, all my illusions were
shattered a long time ago.

To those who need a reminder, the names Magic Johnson and Jimmy
Swaggart come to mind as individuals whom the public, perhaps
ignorantly, assumed were morally "clean," "decent" men. And well,
when Pee Wee Herman got caught with his pants down, I just about
lost all my innocence, not to mention faith in my kind.

If men succumb so easily to lust, one might wonder how it is
that we keep it under control and act halfway decent in our
interactions with women.

The answer is that males do not always successfully control
their lust.

Aside from the aforementioned individuals, one might also have
had chance encounters with computer perverts (yup, the guys in the
Office of Academic Computing room who look up naughty web pages
when they think nobody’s around), macho perverts (whose
conversation is often replete with phrases such as "would you bone
her?") and animation perverts (who think that Japanese animation is
"cool ‘cuz of the naked chicks’") – just to name a few.

Now, as for those of us who successfully manage to hide behind
the facade of civility and decency, we represent beings only
slightly higher on the morality scale. Despite the fact that we
exhibit an ability to use tact when it comes to women, we still
dwell in the same mental cellar as our more conspicuous

True, some men have repressed their lust by a considerable
measure and have consequently learned to treat women as human
beings. However, constantly viewing females as sex toys remains an
inherent part of our nature. How we deal with our mindless
libidinous perceptions of women affects how, in turn, we are
treated by them.

So, should one interpret a moral lesson from all this, a gender
version of the golden rule, if you will – "treat women as you would
like to be treated?" Doubtful. I’m too much of a cynic to believe
in an ideal world in which men possess only a sincere, platonic
respect and admiration for women. Besides, we’re dealing with an
amoral issue regarding men, and an attempt to construe a moral
solution would be futile.

In the end, lust remains the controlling factor in the lives of
men. Some may say there is nothing wrong with lust – it represents
nothing more than a natural aspect of the male psyche, to which I
would have to somewhat concur.

On the other hand, that same lust, when taken to extremes, often
enslaves us to our passions, and in turn, delivers us as the
willing fools and puppets of women. This lust, which helps to
perpetuate a skewed and derogatory view of women in the minds of
men, also leaves us vulnerable as we empty our heads of reason and
intellect in an attempt to satisfy our libidos.

Well, I, for one, have had enough of my primal urges. I will no
longer volunteer to live as an individual obsessed with female
beauty and charm. My days as a human doormat exist nevermore. From
this point on, as the UCLA populace is my witness, I vow, for an
extended period of time, at least, to rededicate my life to studies
and to enjoy a solitary bachelor’s life.

Chieng, a second-year biology student, would probably retract
his declared vow in a micro-second, should he ever come into
contact with his dream woman.

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