Priest takes middle ground approach to sexuality

Priest takes middle ground approach to sexuality

Lecturer and editor offers guidance on mature lovemaking

By Jennifer Louie

Daily Bruin Contributor

Clad in all black with the requisite white collar, Paulist
Priest Dick Sparks’ simple attire belies his complex set of
beliefs.

Sparks, a lecturer and editor, spoke on the issue of human
sexuality in a Friday forum sponsored by the University Catholic
Center.

"Why listen to advice about human sexuality from a bald,
celibate, Catholic priest?" Sparks asked. In his lectures, he says
the answer lies in his credentials – a doctorate in moral theology
from The Catholic University of America.

His message is important for college students to hear, Sparks
believes, and to reach the broadest audience possible, he tries to
take a noncondemning approach in his lectures.

Although he does not claim to rebut Catholic doctrine concerning
sexuality, Sparks tries to strike a middle-ground approach by
offering "spiritual tools to make good decisions," he
explained.

"My job is talking to college students about being (sexually)
mature and responsible, not about ‘putting on the brakes,’" he
said.

Quelling sexuality is not Sparks’ intent. Rather, he challenges
people to be "sexually appropriate."

"I try to help Christians make more Christ-like decisions,"
Sparks explained. "If they are not Christian, more humane
decisions."

Such "Christ-like decisions" might include abstaining from
premarital sex and masturbation, among other things.

Sparks advocates the belief that sex is not necessarily
associated with love – and many students agree.

"Sex used to be something shared between two people who love
each other," said Yvonne Yen, a second-year psychology student.
"Nowadays, it’s done out of curiosity or obligation after a certain
point in a relationship."

But some students disagree with Sparks’ view that sex outside of
marriage is wrong.

"I practice it. I think it’s cool as long as it’s mutually
consented and both (partners) are in the position to consent," said
Rachel Redondiez, a fifth-year Asian American studies/women’s
studies student. Although Redondiez was raised Catholic, she said
she "got over the Catholic influence very fast."

Furthermore, others believe that men and women also have
different ways of viewing sex and its consequences.

"I imagine women cherishing the act of love-making as a special
union between her and her partner," said Rommel Manuel, a
fifth-year English student. "It doesn’t matter to guys who
(love-making) is with."

Students also questioned the origins of men and women’s
differing notions of sexuality.

"Men and women are socialized into thinking of sex as different
things," Redondiez hypothesized. "Women see their virginity as a
commodity. No one ever tells their sons, ‘close your legs.’"

Sparks, however, takes a completely different approach.

Men do not feel as attached because they lose fluid during sex,
Sparks explained, and with the fluid goes their sense of
attachment. Women, on the other hand, receive the fluid and it
remains with them, creating a sense of attachment, Sparks
continued.

"Sexuality is such a core dimension of who we are, that either
good or hurtful things can be done," Sparks said. "In the end, each
of us is like a special package wrapped for mailing. We should be
stamped with the words: ‘I’m sexy and fragile, so handle with care
… and commitment,’" said Sparks.

This combination of biological and psychological phenomenon
makes sexuality "a wonderful gift and an awesome responsibility,
despite what others believe," Sparks added.

"Whether you are gay, straight, male or female," he concluded,
"Viva la sexuality!"

"My job is talking to college students about being
(sexually)mature and responsible."

Dick Sparks

Priest, Lecturer, Editor

Comments to [email protected]