Health problems do not spell doom for sick

Health problems do not spell doom for sick

New support group helps students deal with illness, share
stories with others

By Christina V. Miller

"Kathy" remembers all too well how she felt when she was
diagnosed with diabetes 10 years ago at age 19. "It was winter
quarter of my sophomore year. For the first time in my life, I had
some real friends and was enjoying myself. Prior to college, I was
very shy.

"Then, all of a sudden, I’m sitting in this doctor’s office and
he’s telling me that I have this serious illness, and that I have
to take care of myself or I could get very sick. I got very
depressed and wondered if the rest of my life was going to be
bleak."

But Kathy’s life has been anything but bleak. Now 29, she runs
in marathons, is a Westside attorney and is married and pregnant
with her first child.

"When I was first diagnosed," she said, "the diabetes was the
ENEMY. I felt devastated and thought, ‘Why is this happening to
ME?’ But then the shock wears off and you move on. When I look back
on it today, I know that having diabetes made me look at life in a
way that made me stronger.

"When I was diagnosed, I was living with my parents, and they
were controlling every aspect of my life. Suddenly, I had this very
adult health problem, and yet my mother was still telling me what
to wear to school. I began to realize that if I could deal with the
diabetes, I could deal with anything. Three months later, I moved
out. I’m not saying that I’m glad I got the illness. But I have to
admit that having the diabetes made other things in life seem easy.
It gave me perspective about what really matters."

Kathy’s experience illustrates what researchers have been
discovering in recent years – that the old stereotype that people
with health problems are dismal, depressed and downtrodden is
simply not true.

Research has shown that when people are faced with a serious
health problem, they tend to look for ways to find meaning in the
experience. They look for a way, in the face of their health
problem, to learn something from it that will improve their
lives.

Some say that they get a clearer sense of what really matters in
life. They learn what’s trivial and what’s important. Others say
that they get a better sense of their own identity. Their
priorities become clearer than they’ve ever been. Others feel that
the most important change that they’ve experienced as a result of
an illness is a better understanding of what matters in
relationships.

For example, "Ken" was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease, a very
curable form of cancer, in his junior year of college. Ken was
completely cured, and seven years later he is a healthy tennis
teacher. But he remembers the time he was undergoing treatment for
his illness, part of which was spent in a wheelchair:

"That was the time when I really found out what true friendship
is," he says. "Before that, I used to just hang out with my friends
and joke around, but we hardly ever talked about anything serious.
When I got sick, some people avoided me, but other friends stuck
with me. I started talking to these friends on a more serious level
and we became a lot closer. Those are the people who are my best
friends today."

To say that a person can become stronger or learn something from
having a health problem is not to minimize the devastating impact
that a health condition can have. When a person is faced with a
serious illness or disability, there is a very painful period of
adjustment. A health problem can bring on feelings of anxiety,
depression, despair, terror, panic, anger and hopelessness.

In addition, many young people who have faced health problems
say that the process can be very lonely. Their friends are at a
different place in life and sometimes do not understand what they
are going through. Students with health problems often feel out of
sync with their peers who are out having fun and playing sports,
while they are undergoing medical treatments.

What helps a person move from more painful and devastating
feelings to a sense of meaning and control? In recent years,
researchers have discovered some things you can do to help yourself
if you have been diagnosed with a health problem:

* Take charge. Patients who ask questions and seek the best care
tend to get it. Try to figure out just how much you want to know
about your physical problem and then take action to learn this
information. It is important to learn how not to be intimidated by
health care providers and medical systems.

* Find outlets to express your feelings. Keeping emotions like
fear and anger inside is not healthy. It is important to be honest
with yourself about what you feel and be able to express it to
someone else.

* Make sure that you get support. Studies show that real
emotional support from family, friends and even doctors increases a
person’s emotional and physical well-being. Numerous studies have
found that among people with health problems, those who participate
in a support group experience less anxiety and depression and a
greater sense of well-being. And the benefits are not all
psychological. Those in support groups show improved immune
function, less physical pain and better physical outcomes.

New support groups are currently forming for students who have
had to deal with or are dealing with a health problem. Come share
experiences and strategies with other students who have been
through similar experiences. The groups are a free service offered
through Student Psychological Services. For information, please
call Dr. Christina Miller at 825-0768.

Miller is a licensed psychologist who specializes in health
psychology. She will be running the support groups.Comments to
[email protected]