Coming out festivities hope to dispel stigmas

Coming out festivities hope to dispel stigmas

Bruins battle "closet" stereotypes during week of
celebration

By Julie Ann Silva

Daily Bruin Senior Staff

David Bain doesn’t wear leather, women’s underpants or conical
bras. His penis is not pierced, nor is any other body part. Bain is
gay. He is testimony that such stereotypes don’t hold true.

Bain could well be the poster boy for the week-long celebration
of National Coming Out Day that began Sunday. For Bain and hundreds
of other gay, lesbian and bisexual students, faculty and staff, the
week is a time to battle "The Closet," a metaphor for homosexuals
who feel trapped and afraid to express their sexuality.

"(National Coming Out Day) symbolizes a freedom from oppression
both from society and from the self. It’s liberating one’s self
from the confines that we place upon ourselves by feeling
oppressed, that we grow up with and that society puts around us,"
said Bain, a third-year student majoring in theater arts.

"For some people, coming out just means coming out to a neighbor
or a friend. For others, it means coming out simply by looking in
the mirror and saying they’re gay," Bain added. "It has a personal,
intimate meaning depending on the person."

The time is a powerful one, students said.

"National Coming Out Day and week is the (time) where I think a
lot of gay, lesbian and bisexual people gather the courage to come
out to somebody ­ maybe their parents, maybe a friend, maybe a
roommate. There’s a tremendous amount of support on that day
especially and all around the week," said Dan Quick, an undeclared
sophomore.

"It’s the intense day of the year where people say, ‘Fuck it,
I’m going to come out. There’s enough of this shit in my life, it’s
time to let everybody know who I am,’" Quick said.

More than 5,000 hours of volunteer time went into planning the
22 events ­ ranging from sporting tournaments to high
intensity rallies ­ scheduled to take place at UCLA throughout
the week. The sheer volume and intensity of the campus coming out
day activities captured the attention of the National Coming Out
Day office, a group committed to promoting the holiday nationwide.
This year, the organization has chosen UCLA as its focus
program.

Participants intend to rock the UCLA campus with information on
the gay, lesbian and bisexual community and increase visibility of
the homosexual population.

"Stereotypes need to be broken so I do hope that all faculty,
staff and students attend," said Al Aubin, a career counselor at
the Placement and Career Planning Center. "The program is not only
for gays and lesbians, it’s to educate everyone."

Students passionately testified to the diversity within the
community and the need to build bridges between themselves and the
heterosexual population.

"People of different sexual orientations … are not a
homogenous mix, we’re a wonderful mix of orientations, races,
religions and cultures," Bain said.

Breaking stereotypes during the holiday festivities ranked high
as a priority for many students.

"I think the actions on campus are going to help people who
aren’t aware of homosexuals or may have a stereotypical or negative
view of them realize that they’re your neighbors, your friends,
your cousins, your bosses, your fellow students. The (programs) can
only provoke thought and questioning ­ and hopefully
understanding in the end," Bain said.

One of the most important things activism can accomplish is to
give people who are in the closet a chance and a reason to come out
and tell others that they are gay, lesbian or bisexual ­ that
they enjoy it, find pride in it and have a definite place in
society, Bain added.

To aid students, staff and faculty in their quest for
visibility, planners have recruited many high profile members of
the gay, lesbian and bisexual community to participate in the UCLA
campus events. Guests will include actress Amanda Bearse, swimmer
Bruce Hayes and state assembly candidate Sheila Kuehl.

"I think its great that UCLA has become a model university (for
the gay, lesbian and bisexual community)," said Hayes , a 1984 Gold
medalist and Bruin alumnus.

"I’m very proud my alma mater is (hosting this program) on such
a grand scale," he added.

Unlike many of today’s Bruins, Hayes did not come out during his
years as a political science major here.

"I was at UCLA over 10 years ago. It was harder to think about
coming out. It’s still hard now, but it was harder then," Hayes
explained. "A lot has changed in 10 years. The environment is
better now, and with events like this, hopefully it will continue
to get better.

"If I were in college now I would come out. If I had to go back
in time I don’t know," he added.

Students echoed the feeling that university attitudes have
changed for the better.

"I find most people relatively accepting," said undeclared
freshman Matthew McCarthy. "I expect people to respect my identity,
orientation or whatever word you want to put on it in the same way
I respect them," he said. "By and large, I think that’s what
happens at UCLA."

Usually absent from campus chatter are the "fag" jokes and
insensitivity that relentlessly dog many homosexuals in society,
students said.

"I’ve never actually encountered homophobia at UCLA," Quick
said. "But I come from a small town where rocks were thrown at me,
and I’m scared as hell to go back."

Yet not all students said they feel the need to participate in
the planned activities.

"National Coming Out Day is a … little too political for my
tastes," McCarthy said. "Shoving one aspect of your identity down
everyone’s throat is very self-limiting. You’re not going to
convince anybody of anything (and) you’re not going to change
anyone’s mind.

"My sexuality is one aspect of a pretty complex person. I
wouldn’t celebrate that one aspect anymore than I would celebrate
having green eyes," McCarthy added.

Other campus community members said they see a strong need for
activism. The fight to gain health benefits for same-sex domestic
partners and to challenge UCLA’s funding of the Reserve Officer
Training Corps (ROTC) program on campus are two of the important
issues cited by activists.

Many people said UCLA’s yearly $100,000 to $150,000 funding of
the ROTC program violates the university’s anti-discriminatory
policy because openly gay, lesbian or bisexual individuals cannot
be commissioned into the military ­ the main reason behind
completing the ROTC program.

The fact that the ROTC program still exists at UCLA is
appalling, said Audrey Woods, a fourth year dance major in her
coming out statement to The Bruin. "Their stance on homosexuality
is so outdated."

While ROTC officials declined to comment, UCLA administrators
did.

"There are some people who are going to be concerned as long as
ROTC is on campus," said Carlotta Mellon, assistant vice chancellor
of community and governmental relations. "There has been concern
expressed by the gay and lesbian community about funding for ROTC
programs as well as the existence of ROTC on campus."

Administrators said the university has taken every measure to
comply with its nondiscrimination policy.

"The chancellor has stated that there will be no discrimination
in ROTC programs, (and that) there will be open access to courses
so that anybody can enroll in the courses offered through the
various military programs," Mellon said. "Many people have an
appreciation for the chancellor’s openmindedness."

"What UCLA cannot do is control the commissioning of officers.
ROTC does that," she added.

Estimates put the number of UCLA gay, lesbian and bisexual
students at 10 percent of the campus population. That equates to
more than 3,000 members of the student body. But many agree that
there are still UCLA students, staff and faculty who remain locked
in the closet.

"I hope that (National Coming Out Day) will make more people
comfortable and realize that there are so many queer people on
campus and that it’s OK to be gay," said fourth-year English
student Laurie Howarter.

People who think they are in the closet by themselves are not
alone, said third year communication studies student Michelle
Stone. "There’s power in numbers and a lot of people don’t realize
how many gay, lesbian and bisexual people are out there."

Everybody on campus has a friend ­ probably a close friend
­ who’s gay, lesbian or bisexual, but 90 percent of these
people probably don’t know it, Stone said.

"It’s sad that those people don’t realize that every time they
let a gay joke go by without saying anything or every time they
make a gay joke themselves, they’re probably talking about someone
they care about."